“You have the right to remain silent but deadly. Anything you smell you will be presumed to have dealt.”
** Do airliners carry something like this?
Legal marijuana**
I used to fly for United Airlines
Then I got fired for reading “High Times”
Drag me into the modern computing paradigm…
I love making glass beads!
Sorry, you’re beyond help.
If you HAD to be executed, how would you want to go?
My fridge door was open all last night, help!
Really, really slow hypothermia is cruel and unusual punishment, I suppose.
**The Unused User Name Repository
My Dad, Fox News, Rush Limbaugh **
Yeah, well, those are unused for a reason.
**If another nuclear bomb is ever exploded on a city, what is the most likely scenario?
source of national pride **
No one nukes as well as us! Take that, furriners.
** If you HAD to be executed, how would you want to go?
source of national pride**
I demand an all-American lethal injection! None of them foreign drugs for me.
**I hate Chinese people.
And you wonder why I hate doctors.
**
So many of them are Chinese!
** You Should Now Be Afraid of the Colour Yellow
I hate Chinese people.**
:dubious:
**The Steinhardts Bake Hamantaschen Again!!
New mom almost loses baby because of poppy seeds. **
Uh-oh.
How Republicans can kill two birds with one stone.
Hope for the Republican Party of the future?
It’s all in killing two birds with one stone.
Computer question, killing just one wifi network
The beginning of linear(?) time and matter.
Just imagine what would happen if you killed two networks!
Space and time disentangle - what does that mean?
Windows 8 - application appears and disappears on taskbar
“Spacetime has unexpetedly quit…”
Which actor(s) who are generally considered very attractive to you consider to be unattractive?
Fox News personalities
Some of them are hot, but I just can’t get past the constant stream of bullshit coming out of their mouths.
** Where’s a good place to hide a key?
Should atheists take the Shroud of Turin seriously?
**
Certainly! It’s guarded 24/7, so no thief is going to steal your key if you hide it in the Shroud.
Of course, Believers can consider it, too, but they’d probably consider such a mundane use of a holy relic blasphemous.
**Were you nursed?
I hate my mother
**
Und vhy is dot?
** Cats and purring.
The Logic Behind Michigan Liquor Laws.**
"You’re only five years old, but that’s old enough to buy liquor in cat-years, so yes, I can sell you a pint of Old Granddad.
“rrrrRRRRRRrrrrr”
** Boy Snatched In 1964 Returned To Wrong Family
The Steinhardts Bake Hamantaschen Again!!**
“I don’t care that they’re not my real parents, they make fantastic pastry.”
The Steinhardts Bake Hamantaschen Again!!
Worst case of “manager speak” you’ve heard?
We just thought it was one of those stupid fads before, but now they’re speaking in code! The only way this makes sense is if ‘hamantaschen’ means “Q3 sales objectives”, ‘bake’ means “missed”, and ‘Steinhardts’ means “midwestern sales group”…
Were you nursed?
I hate my mother
So, is that a yes or a no?
**Do Catholics still have to report masturbation in Confession?
Do you think 16 is an acceptable age to have a girlfriend? **
Well, if it helps you to cut down on the masturbation…
** Were you a homebirth?
Were you nursed?**
Geez Dr. Lecter, give it up.
**Why is it so hard to fire a govt employee?
Advantages of being overweight **
“Sir, we need to fire Bob. He’s surfing porn again–right out in front of everybody! And it’s the…disturbing…kind of porn, too.”
“And what if he just refuses to leave, huh? What then? It would take a goddamn forklift to get him out of here!”
Malaysia Airlines 777 Missing
Memorable Fortune Cookies
‘Your choice of airlines may change your life.’
.