Memorable fortune cookies
I hate my mother
Uh, would someone else like my cookie?
** Advantages of being overweight
What is a super taster?
**
**Mundane Pointless Things that Elude Dopers
Never knew I was beautiful…until I moved to L.A. **
It always eluded me.
Religion and job application
Do Catholics still have to report masturbation in Confession?
No, but you definitely should list it on your job application under “Miscellaneous Hobbies”.
**Penalty for killing a US federal employee on the clock?
Why is it so hard to fire a govt employee? **
**Advantages of being overweight
Where’s a good place to hide a key? **
Just lift up a fold of skin and tuck 'er in!
** Fred Phelps ‘on edge of death’
The Steinhardts Bake Hamantaschen Again!! **
Later, join Sampiro and the gang for square dancing!
**Mundane Pointless Things that Elude Dopers
Malaysia Airlines 777 Missing **
Maybe it’s in The Pit. I never look there.
**It isn’t easy being green in the MMP
Playboy model gets hit in the ass by golfer.
**
Sometimes It’s Not Easy Being The Green.
**Malaysia Airlines 777 Missing
Ask the Airline Pilot who just switched from Passengers to Cargo
**
**Do the strippers let you touch their breasts?
I Have Nylon Fishing Line In My Little Finger
**
What, exactly, are you planning?
** Why does my building’s water smell like marijuana?
“Manufactory of artificial kneecaps”**
“Yeah, that’s what we’re doing in the basement…making artificial kneecaps. The bright lights are so we can see better. We store them in these large plastic pots. Nothing to see here, move along.”
** Playboy model gets hit in the ass by golfer.
Do the strippers let you touch their breasts?
**
Not with a golf club…
What’s the secret of life?
Playboy model gets hit in the ass by golfer.
42!
** Do We Really Need A Sign?
New Supernova!**
Yes, it seems we do need a sign. God just incinerated an entire solar system so that we would see the explosion and make the mental connection, and people still aren’t getting it.
** Brits: What do I have to do to get knighted? How would my life change once I did?
Powerful New Weapon**
No, regrettably English knights are no longer issued with a broadsword.
** Would you picket Fred Phelp’s funeral?
Kitchen Garbage Disposals: How Much Garbage? **
Sorry, Fred is beyond the capacity of all but the largest commercial disposals.
** Dopers in LA: are you worried that the Big One is coming?
The Steinhardts Bake Hamantaschen Again!!**
Yeah, but it’s a real bitch peeling that stuff off the ceiling.
**Do you think 16 is an acceptable age to have a girlfriend?
More talk about cousins? **
Romance, Southern style…
Do you think 16 is an acceptable age to have a girlfriend?
Another day, another woman teacher arrested for having sexual intercourse and maybe oral sex too…
I did answer “yes” in that poll, but apparently that backfired spectacularly…