** Changing name after divorce
Are you an Anglophile?**
'Cause if you are, “Lord Wimpy” is a dynamite name.
What is cheapest thing to make?
Moonshine as Accelerant
h’yuk, yeah, if’n you want it fer drinkin’ I’ll have to charge you four, mebbe five bits a bottle, but if’n you only want it to set shit on fire then I can cut corners a mite…
** Who’s left from early TV?
Barney Miller
**
I suppose to some of you whipper-snappers 1976 qualifies as “early” TV.
Now get off my lawn!
**So the ‘raspy grunge voice’ styled in the 90’s for the 2010’s is…
Jerry Lewis
**
[raspy voice] Hey LADY!!! [/raspy voice]
**Dear I Heart Radio, please stop playing…
The ending of 12 Monkeys **
It just isn’t as cool without the visuals.
** Never been to the Seattle area …
Is it more expensive to be a man or a woman?**
Keep your options open. I hear the transgendered latte sales are awesome.
Noah - anyone else see it? (spoilers)
The Last Ship, S1E1
** I pulled a tree stump out of my face!
My scrotum was bleeding
Is it hard to throw out an old pair of shoes?
**
Sounds like a Baaaaaaaad weekend.
**Why do older people often get gullible?
Middle Age?
**
Yep – the shock of knowing that they’re middle-aged just does 'em in.
Poll: Did you know this meaning of “88”?
Middle Age?
Yes, I’m totally going to live to 180.
**How does God talk to you?
Beat this for hard-to-understand pronunciation
**
Sooooo-- unintelligibly, I guess.
** Have you ever lived a decent life in an expensive city on little money
Six-ish days in San Diego - What to do?
**
How much money do you have?
**What’s your “go-to” comfort food
Hoagie, grinder, Sub, Hero, Po’boy…
**
Are you a racist? Warning signs.
Flatulent Office Mates
It’s a subtle indication that they don’t like you very much.
**In 49 of 50 states one thing, in the 50th something else???
Oops: Smallpox found in Maryland **
That’s something else, all right.
**Women and cleavage
In 49 of 50 states one thing, in the 50th something else???
**
In Utah “cleavage” is the way a rock splits.
**How long does it take to die on a pool of molten steel?
Seattle driving directions **
Look, I clearly told you to turn right at the pool of molten steel.
** How does God talk to you?
Crossing Ohio on Rte 22**
You’re speeding again. Alright, alright. Jeez…
**How did gay guys get to claim pink as their color?
Hand written contract **
It was even written in pink ink, so I’m pretty sure it’s official.
**What is your worst experience with the police?
The Face of crime. Caught in the act. **
“So, the old lady is handing over her purse, and then I realize this cop is standing there, staring right at my face! :smack:”