** Gents: What kind of aftershave do you use?
Poll: The Jewish barber’s dilemma.
**
Gentiles: What kind of aftershave do you use?
Before and after
Suddenly I have the feeling of impending doom.
I’m still alive and I love my new job
jumping out of a plane while aflame
Is this stolen valor?
Why do people experience secondhand embarrassment?
ISIS under our beds?
“Ho ho, Christians got skinny ankles!”
Help us with our 20th anniversary dinner…
We Have Pigeon Eggs
Uh… get some rat meat and make omelets?
**What can we expect in the two years following the midterms?
Mitch McConnell threatens to shut down the government**
Questions that answer themselves.
** New Jersey hospital charges a teacher nearly $9,000 to bandage his middle finger.
This is why I hate going to the doctor
**
“You know, we don’t get many teachers in here,” sez the doctor
“At $9000 a finger, I can see why,” replied the teacher.
**Women’s leg hair and the existence of God
My sweet fuzzy buddy Goliath **
Just don’t call her Goliath to her face or you’ll discover the truth about the existence of God.
Getting bullied at work
Armed! And Proud of It!
Just show them your .44 Magnum and you’ll never get bullied again.
**What to do with a can of Spam?
The Wonders of Pumpernickel **
Mm…nothing like a nice Spam[sup]TM[/sup] on pumpernickel sandwich. Don’t forget the Miracle Whip[sup]TM[/sup]!
**Vitamin D Deficiency. In Summer
Dermatologists hate this woman.
**
** Suddenly I have the feeling of impending doom.
College student, checking in! 
**
How do countries pay each other sums of money?
"I could care less"
I only asked 
** How exactly does one dissolve a government?
Plug heating
**
But only if you get it really hot. And place it in the water with the government
** Perry Mason endings
Using goats to clear property of vegetation**
“The Case of the Grazing Goat” - I remember it well. Paul Drake got really pissed over the holes in his sport coat.
Have you ever encountered the mob?
The worst farts come from…
Uh-oh, that’s what you get for calling out Tony “The Gasser” Giacomo.
Great. A skunk just sprayed through my bedroom window.
AMA: Former Walt Disney World Character Performer
Oh. Well, in that case: Why are you still wearing your costume? And what the heck are you doing peeing through my bedroom window?
9 year old girl accidentally kills gun range instructor with Uzi. (RO)
Stupid Gun news of the day…
This is why I hate going to the doctor
Have you ever encountered the mob?
“Mr. Smith, I’m happy to say that your kneecaps are in excellent shape. It would be a shame if something should happen to them.”
**Of course a nine-year-old girl can handle a Uzi, right?
Have you ever encountered the mob? **
'Cause the nine-year old girls working for the mob don’t mess around.