** US school cancels prom to avoid lesbian student bringing a date
Got one of those legendary four-hour boners?**
Look at porn or at kitty pics?
Job interview attire - need answer fast
Go with the kitty pics. You’ll have fewer wrinkles.
Just ate peanut butter with an expiration date of 2003. What will happen?
Car Salespeople
They can smell it on you. Fill a spray bottle with ammonia and spray it at them if they get obnoxious; or just use the hose if you’re outside at home.
**
Got one of those legendary four-hour boners?
1899 crime: Serving Margarine that’s not pink**
It wasn’t margarine, either!
Baby Neeps is here!
Tips for First Contact w/ Alein Species
**iPod, iPad, iPoop…
From the posts of babes… **
Quick! We need the iDiaper App!
** Ask the Guy who is Running for Office
Do you fear death?
**
(even better if the first post was “Ask the Standup Comedian” … (ok, maybe that’s an inside joke … ))
You’re going to have dinner with President Obama. What are you going to say to him?
Am I being a jerk by leaving a pile of small change along with my tip at a restaurant?
Screw that. If I’m eating out with Obama, he picks up the check. He’s got, like, an expense account and stuff.
** Fo non-alcoholics, how would you react to not being able to drink again?
Thoughts about starting drinking again **
Well, make up your mind!
** If there is a God…
You too can be a superhero! **
That is very true yet very wrong.
Where are all the pictures of the new doper kids?
I’m really bored
Afterwards for a real treat, you can go outside and watch the grass grow.
**Your recipe for the ideal burger
What a bummer. I’m all out of Pratchett. **
A burger without Pratchett is like a day without sunshine.
I’m really bored
Let’s talk about allergies
Let’s not, I can’t bear the excitement.
**Has a healthy person ever been killed (internally) by constipation?
Just ate peanut butter with an expiration date of 2003. What will happen? **
I think I almost got arrested…
Got one of those legendary four-hour boners?
It really depends on where you got the boner.
What’s the most disturbing thing you watched on purpose?
American Idol 4/13-14
Well, I refuse to watch that show, so it would be disturbing to me.
On Yahoo!'s Hot Searches list:
**Dancing With the…
RMS Titanic **
Obama cancels Moon project
Would this stop suicide bombers?
Unless there was a threat of them blowing themselves up on the moon, I don’t see how.
There’s no such thing as unconditional love.
Why don’t we just build more prisons?
Imprisoning people who don’t love unconditionally wouldn’t be constitutional.
How is my cat doing this?
What would happen if your uvula were cut off?
To an inquisitive cat, a uvula can look like a playtoy. Try distracting him with a catnip ball.
What Big Project Are You Currently Working On?
You too can be a superhero!
Just step into my lab and I’ll show you my new process! Severe side effects in less than 99% of all subjects!
Let’s talk about allergies.
Jesus genitals!
You can see the Lord in my swellings!