**Can an MRI really rip metal through flesh?
How Long Will The Census Workers Keep Trying? **
“You didn’t fill out your form, so we’ll keep doing MRIs of your head until your metal fillings shoot out your nose! Bwa-ha-ha!”
**What Made You Join The Straight Dope?
Dildos–er, vibrators–er, personal massagers. Buy now! **
**Does All of Michigan Suck Now?
Tell me about Charlottesville VA… **
Does Charlottesville suck, too?
Well, my brother lives there, so that should give you an idea.
What do you want to see in the next Star Trek?
Mad Science!!
But… haven’t we had enough of that?
Your personal experiences with inflation
Dildos–er, vibrators–er, personal massagers. Buy now!
Hurry, before prices go up.
**Insuring body parts?
What body parts grow back? Not nipples, right?**
And can you insure them?
** times you coulda got laid but didn’t, by choice or design
Don’t be gay, Sparky!
So There’s this Guy Lying Out on the Sidewalk… **
**What body parts grow back? Not nipples, right?
Flesh eating fungus are everywhere! EVERYWHERE!!! **
**Can you cook a whole cow?
Capybara-like animals in Minnesota?**
If you’re cooking a 'sota capybara, can I have a leg?
** need a recipe for delicious cake filling.
You’re being held captive by a madman. What fictional detective do you want on the case? **
One from a culinary mystery, like Hannah Swensen who specializes in desserts
** Elitism that you (ashamedly) participate in.
Declasse items you enjoy**
No matter what I do, it’s wrong. 
Letter to my ex-wife
I’m getting married!
Dildos–er, vibrators–er, personal massagers. Buy now!
My Love For The Four-Footed Ones…
How nice. Alternatively you can show your love with Milk-Bones, no batteries required.
Attractive girl with a large wart on her nose
What do I want for Mother’s Day? Need answer fast!
I was going to suggest duct tape, but seeing as you’re in a rush, Bob’s Cryo Depot is having a liquid nitrogen sale.
**Ah, tabloids… Don’t ever change…
72 year old woman marries 26 year old man(and then it gets weird) **
My boyfriend is no longer interested in sex, what’s going on?
Kissing Someone: does toothpaste brand matter
You could try using Crest instead of Garlic-Sardine Paste Ultra Cavity-Fighter and see what happens.
** Did you ever get THE talk?
Ask the former fundamentalist who was exposed to (and accepted) evolution**
Pope should launch his own brand of condoms
My boyfriend is no longer interested in sex, what’s going on?
** I’m getting married!
The deed is done - I’m a Mrs! **