What DON’T you use that everyone else does?
Th’hell, Facebook?
Stupid Republican idea of the day
temperature
Again, no, Republicans didn’t invent that
** What are these lumps under my giant bruise?
Shower radios**
Bummer - but if you pinch your arm just so, you can bring in WBZ.
You are military/ex-military. Why did you join?
Family humor, inside jokes, etc.
The military: One big, funny family.
** I’m sick and tired of…
Random compliments from strangers that brighten your day**
Gee, thanks for the kind words, asshole!
**Foody Do’s and Dont’s that in your opinion don’t make a difference
Dishes/food combinations you invented? **
I invented it, but it doesn’t matter.
dupe
**“What specifically are the job duties?” “Oh, you must not be interested.”
I don’t get cat psychology. **
“Oh, very well. The job duties are: open cans of soft stinky food whenever I require; keep fresh water available at all times; keep my litter box clean; provide me with a lap to sit on when I want it; pet me and give me scritches between the ears and on the sides of the chin for as long as I want and not one second longer; provide me with something to bite and scratch when I’m irritated or bored or finished with the petting and scritches (your body parts will do nicely); and open cans of soft stinky food whenever I require (yes, that one is a repeat, but it’s VERY important). Really, though, you should know all this already.”
I’m sick and tired of…
Poison in water supply
Literally sick, figuratively tired.
** when driving through unfamiliar mountains
do you use more than one panel on your android home screen?**
No, one panel is about all I can ha…AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!
Nude Bea Arthur painting sells for 1.9Mil…
Finally got around to pulling my pork
Whatever it takes…
**Weird things you notice about getting older that young you never thought about
This hurts **
That pretty much sums it up.
** Songs that sound upbeat but have darker meanings
Finally got around to pulling my pork**
Weird things you notice about getting older that young you never thought about
Earthquake?
What earthquake? I never noticed any earthquake.
** Why do ocean-going vessels burn oil instead of diesel?
Why Do People Fart When They Pee?**
How can you mend a broken heart?
Why do people fart when they pee?
How can ships burn oil instead of diesel?
What makes the world go round?
Nah, the Bee Gees should stick to the original lyrics.
**Important safety tip regarding sex and hornet nests
This hurts **
Duly noted.
I’m about to bust my ass thanks to a new floor.
Why have victim impact statements?
Epic facebook meltdown from Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares
How do you eat corn on the cob?
Obama does his best to degrade a couple of Marines.
Next episode: Wipers! I pit your pathetic and boring pit threads
**I’m about to bust my ass thanks to a new floor.
This hurts **
Retail Heaven & Hell
The death of a friendship.
Are my tomato plants on death row?
Lawnmower killers
We are not going to be doing any interstellar space travel
when driving through unfamiliar mountains