** Break up via text - ever not bush?
Monuments to women**
Not bush, but kind of overdoing it. “I felt so guilty about breaking if off, baby, that I commissioned a nude statue of you for the town square.”
**Is my idea for an invention technically possible today?
ATMs that scan checks directly
**
Umm, I hate to break it to you, but…
Jack, according to many sculpting traditions, it definitely would not be bush in a certain way.
**You can’t fix stupid
Idaho Company Makes Pork-Infused Bullets For Jihadists… **
**European Women and Chinese men have a high risk of conceiving unviable children
Enforcement of separation of church and state **
Separation of Church and State? Nope, sounds more like the separation of White and Wong.
** Is my idea for an invention technically possible today?
Babies and airplane turbulence**
Well, we have the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale, the Fujita scale for tornadoes, why not a Baby Scale for Airplane Turbulence? I propose the categories Shake, Rattle, Roll, Airborne, and Pry Them Little Suckers Off The Ceiling.
**Would you be comfortable sharing a dressing room with a gay person??
I give you… Edible Anuses!
**
Now, let’s not jump to conclusions.
Ah, and now I see that the “I give you…” thread has provided some real zingers.
**Ding dong DOMA’s dead!
Help me pick out a new car …
**
Must be able to fit a U-Haul trailer…need answer fast!
**Did you know?
Nelson Mandela
**
Would have been better without the “?” mark
** Alternaverse GOP slogans- If they were honest…
I just want my fucking paycheck!**
Simple, yet eloquent.
Don’t you hate it when . . .
Kate Middleton is pregnant
** Worlds oldest contact lenses
Jane Austen coming to the £10 note ?**
No, they couldn’t find a photo where she wasn’t blinking.
** Going on the Family Road Trip
scruples?**
None. “Whoops, looks like I left the family behind at the rest stop. Now Daddy gets to have some fun.”
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
Transgendered 6 Year Old Wins Rights Case
Any can’t miss grub between ATL and Birmingham, AL (or in B-ham itself!)
Sandwich wrapped in wax paper
Sometimes the simplest things are best.
Normal person becoming squint-eyed…
Where did I put my glasses?
Hee hee!
** Stupid Questions For Brits, Aussies, New Zealanders…
Is it true that relationships with an age difference of 10+ years rarely work out?
Who do you have a crush on and when?**
Most of them have a massive crush on Queen Elizabeth II. But she’s very picky who she goes out with.
** Fuck you, Texas Republicans
What does God need with a helicopter?**
“Ah kin ride all day without leaving my ranch, but Ah expect the Lord wants to travel in comfort.”
**How much does porn influence the perception of women’s bodies?
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
Gay porn question **
** My Feet are Killiing Me, Who Should I Call?
Can children be forced by their parents to donate bone marrow/organs?**
Seems a bit extreme, have you thought of trying Dr. Scholl’s first?