** What’s the likelihood of suffocating a child sleeping in your bed?
Dingoes Ate My Baby **
“Sorry, Ms. Anthony, the jury isn’t going to buy either of these scenarios.”
Do you strangle your tea bag?
What are the great traditional stereotypically gay musicals?
** You are granted three magically bottomless liquor bottles. What are they?
Some Homebrewing Questions
**
How much wort do you have to make to fill a magically bottomless bottle?
**People who know all the answers, but their life is crap
Please explain the appeal of spelling bees to me. **
It helps me forget that my life is crap.
Spanish Train Wreck: 77 Die (Going Too Fast)
How far do you live from train tracks?
Far enough, I hope.
**I want to start ethical cannibalism
Diplomatic Immunity: Getting Away with Manslaughter **
Yeah, because ethical may still not be Legal.
**How Do Kids of Gay Parents Address Them?
Fuck off, neighborhood busybody **
Obviously, those kids forgot the commandment to “Honor thy mother and thy mother.”
A poll about female genitalia
The genitals really are the ugliest parts of the human body, aren’t they?
Well, he did ask, didn’t he?
** Who should play the next Doctor?
The 3 Stooges and the Marx Brothers
**
“Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard…”
Can the Universe survive six (or seven) simultaneous Doctors? I think the record so far is Five.
Who are these five?
The Five Doctors, of course
Two better than The Three Doctors
So far, I have resisted the temptation to make this announcement over my hospital’s PA system. “Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard - report to Neurosurgery on the double!” “Woob-woob-woob-woob-woob-woob-woob!!!”
** Confirmation of exoplanet life
Is this happening to anyone else with a new Samsung Galaxy S4?**
To be fair, if you buy a phone called the “Galaxy” you should expect to get spam calls from other solar systems.
Okay, guys: what is the deal with lap dances?
No tipping at a takeout counter, right?
** Contemplating a trawler to cross the Atlantic and Pacific
“Hurry Up, I’m Sinking,” Final Words to 911**
You might want to think this through…
** Old and need diaper changed
Is Putin Enjoying This? (Humiliating Obama)**
So that’s what goes on at a high-level summit…:eek:
** ‘Passed’; not ‘died’
It’s the old fart’s MMP!!**
** Scientists to cook world’s first burger made with synthetic beef
How I Know My Wife And I Are On The Same Wavelength **
I was just going to suggest getting out the laser to make dinner, when in she walked with a bunch of bottles and flasks.
With a big smile, she announced, “It’s beef night tonight! You’ve been working so hard on the transdimensional portal, I thought we could have a bit of a rest and build a couple of burgers.”
“Awesome! Have we got any Mœbius bacon strips?”
“No, we’re all out of pork. But I do have the latest low-chirality beef precursors…”
What Is Breakfast Anyway?
Filtration units!
Oh, yum! 
** If you could travel back in time, where would you go?
Favourite funerals **
Oh yeah, Rudolph Valentino’s was really cool. And, like, the Pharoahs with all that wailing and lamentation. You’d just have to be careful not to be sealed in the tomb with them for company.
** Everybody has a topic they can bore people to death talking about…
People who know all the answers, but their life is crap**
Life of the party, aren’t we?
**I’m screwing this cat!
So I noticed that the cat ordered some stuff from Amazon . . . **
…adult stuff.
Contemplating a trawler to cross the Atlantic and Pacific
I Won’t Do That again
Yeah, that last encounter with the Kraken was a bit much…