Serial buttocks stabber in Northern Virginia malls

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

DC Dopers beware! Apparently nine women have been slashed in the buttocks by a man with a box cutter, in various Fairfax County malls. Each time, he melts back into the crowd before the victim has time to realize what’s happened and cry havoc.

Obviously, this guy has issues. I always have to wonder in these kinds of cases, though – what finally sets him off? What makes him say, “Today’s the day I’m going to do it. I’m not getting any younger, and those buttocks aren’t going to slash themselves. Let’s get started.”

2

Buttocks Slashing has a long and storied history. Check out the tale of The London Monster.

3

I thought this was going to be about “stabbing” buttocks with a different kind of instrument.

4

I’m not a psychologist but my WAG is that this guy obviously has some really whacked out sexual issues and presumably the sight of a woman’s ass is a trigger for him. So he’s stabbing asses because in his mind, they’re causing his problem and attacking them is his mental defense.

5

Oddly, the Washington Post says about the article:

“Those who read this also read…”
Why the center-left is fed up with Obama
Bert and Ernie should not get married

Obviously, if we had a Republican president we wouldn’t have butts at risk in the mall or gay Muppets.

6

So apparently THIS guy was lieing the whole time! And he’s got a violent streak to bootie.

7

Whoever is doing it seems to be taking care not to cut very deep.

Several of the ladies didn’t notice it until getting home. The guy needs to be caught quickly before it escalates into something worse.