+1
It’s called a cuckold fetish, it’s not rare (my ex-husband had it, though I never indulged him except for talk), and Savage Love had a couple of columns on it in recent months. Might be good reading for you.
Pepper?
PEPPER??!
You monster! Won’t somebody think of the ice cream? :eek:
Well according to Tailspin, even monsters don’t like pepper on their ice cream.
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Not a turn-on for me personally. I’m a strictly one-on-one kind of guy.
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There are very few sexual acts/behaviors/preferences that, in and of themselves, are sick/wrong/morally questionable/etc, and that includes this one. The key is intention. If you get off on this simply because you enjoy it, and your partner enjoys it, and your third party enjoys it, and everybody goes home happy and safe, then no harm done. And that could be said for pretty much anything, including totally vanilla guy-girl sex. If you’re doing this for messed-up reasons (if you’re doing anything for messed-up reasons), then the act could be said to be messed up, but it’s not because of the act itself. Of course, if the only person you’re harming by doing it is yourself, then it really isn’t anybody else’s business, either.
Female, 35 and married here. My husband doesn’t like the idea of me being with other men, he is very jealous.
I would find it very hot to watch him with another chick (provided she was hot and it wasn’t an oh-shit-what’d-I-just-walk-in-on kind of thing, and more so if I were allowed to join!)
My daughter’s father, with whom I obviously am no longer involved, had a fantasy of watching me with other guys. Sadly, at the time I was not comfortable enough with me, him or our relationship to be ok with it. I wish I had been more experimental then 
I find nothing wrong with it so long as all 3 parties are aware of the situation and ok with it. What I find to be sick and disgusting is the thought of the other guy being picked up at a bar by a (what he assumes is) single woman, and unknowingly being watched by her husband/SO. If that’s your thing, then, uhm, yeh, that’s fucked up.
Do your roommates think it’s “sick” because there’s another man involved, maybe?
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Not really high up my list of turn ons, but if my wife really wanted to do it (either way, with her watching me with another girl or me watching her with another guy) I’d at least consider it.
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Disgusting? No way. On my scale of kinks, this would be barely above Friday night sex between the minister and his wife. Well ok, maybe a little above, but pretty tame, really. This actually seems less “kinky” to me than a three way, which has to be one of the most common fantasies around.
Just clearing something up…
The quote above is how it is (or at least how it was that one time).
It’s not something that I ever fantasized about, but when it actually happened, and I watched another man make love to my girlfriend, it was quite a turn-on.
Nope. It’s only a 10 if the hat is made from bologna and there is a gerbil involved.
- It is definitely not a turn on. It’s not that I wouldn’t “let” her do it but that we honor our commitment to each other too much to do something that would violate our monogamous relationship. If we ever reached a point where I couldn’t satisfy her or vice versa than we have bigger issues. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being with another man or woman now (her relationships from before we got together are different).
- If someone else wants to do it, go ahead (or behind). I knew a couple when I was in the Army that would sometimes bring in extras. They asked me but I passed because a) I just wasn’t attracted to her and b) the thought of doing it with someone else in the room made me uncomfortable. I don’t like to do it if the dog is in the room. But they got their jollies out of threesomes, foursomes and moresomes so good for them.
Some guys like the idea of being cuckolded. To some it’s the ultimate form of submissiveness. Not my cup of tea.
Getting off on watching your lover with someone else is actually a fairly common kink. I am slightly amused at all the people saying it means you’re messed up in the head.
I like the idea of watching my SO with someone else (it’s one of my top three fantasies), and the one time I got to witness it, it was so arousing I didn’t have time to be jealous. And no, I don’t think it’s a weird turn-on at all; my favorite sex columnist gets questions about it from people all the time. She spends a lot of her time, it seems, assuring people that it’s not completely freaky not to be jealous, or to be turned on, by such a thing.
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If I think of my husband having sex with another woman, all I can think of is how incredibly jealous and hurt I would feel. I think it would be the same for him if he were to watch me with another guy. So, yeah, not our cup of tea.
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I guess I don’t read that much online stuff about sexual behavior, so for me this seems to be “not normal” as in “on the outer boundaries of the normal distribution.” I do think that if this is your thing, that there might be some psychological issues involved. Then again, I think there are some psychological issues involved in most sexual fantasies, including those I have myself.
a) As a fantasy, I find this scenario to be a turn on. In our younger years my wife and I both thought the IDEA was hot. The reality would be something else altogther and neither of us thought it was worth the effort. I believe I enjoy the fantasy as a control thing (as in my wife submitting to my control) which I don’t really want in reality.
b) This is the most basic of kinks, is it not? Half of all Penthouse stories are based upon the scenario (or so I hear).
I am female and would not want to watch my SO with someone else, male or female. He did cheat before so it would only bring up bad memories and would definitely not be a turn on.
The funny thing is I recently had a dream where we were at a sci fi convention together and met an actor we were both fans of and my boyfriend wanted to watch me and the actor get it on. In my dream the actor was sort of nameless and faceless. My boyfriend was staying over that night and we usually tell each other about our weird dreams so I told him about it. At first he was horrified by the idea. Then he couldn’t think of anyone he was a big enough fan of that he’d want to share his girlfriend with him.
At first he was absolutely opposed to the idea of ever watching me with another guy. Then he thought about it and he said it would depend on the situation. He might not be averse to some other guy warming me up for him as long as I didn’t do anything with the guy foreplay-wise that I don’t do with him and that it stops short of actual intercourse. He had in fact been to some parties in the past where that sort of thing went on. But he still wasn’t sure if he would be interested in that sort of thing with me.
I also meant to say that I don’t think it’s weird, either, to not want to do this kind of thing, or to not be turned on by it. Not everyone has the same kinks, and it would probably be boring after a while if we did.
I agree that for some it can be a cuckold fetish, or possibly a submissive act, but I think a lot of times it’s domination- “Look what I can make you do”. Since I’ve had that experience, if it were ever brought up again by another man, I’d run like hell. Our reactions to a lot of things, sexual and otherwise, are often based on past experiences.
I did say it was unfair and judgmental to call it ‘sick’ didn’t I? I meant not the norm, far from common.
My second to last girlfriend was into this, I watched her bang roughly 5 guys during our 5 years relationship. It turns me on HIGHLY. I guess I liked being cuckolded. Some people call it hotwife-ing. My last girl and I had a threesome one time and she ended up getting pregnant with the other guy’s baby. No lie. That was rough to go through.
- Would not allow an SO to do this (she could do it, but would no longer be my SO.)
as an aside, I once picked up a woman and had sex with her only to find out later that she was married. She said that he wouldn’t mind, he would just want to watch… I was dressed and out the door (stuffing my socks into my back pocket) in under a minute. - I find it odd, but as long as you don’t hurt others I try not to judge.
Spin off thread devoted to this topic.