I prefer my kitten martini stirred, not shaken.
In honor of both of you I will have a drink tonight.
nm
(I see you specified “human version”)
If I’m not mistaken, the US Treasury has replaced In God We Trust on all newly printed bills with this phrase.
If I’ve learned one thing in quarantine, it is that there is no amount of alcohol that can completely neutralize the sting of all the stupid without rendering me unconscious. Perhaps there are better drugs out there?
Yeah, there’s a whole lot of “I’m too virtuous to get the virus!” running around out there. The thing I’ve noticed is, if you look at those “Herman Cain” awards on Reddit, a whole lot of the people saying “I trust my immune system, I’m young and healthy, it only kills those who are already weak!”, are themselves quite obese. They’re actually prime candidates for dying of COVID, but they act like they’re not.
Having several such co-morbidities myself, it boggles my mind that these people are so self-unaware that they think they will have an easy time of it if they catch COVID. I’ve known from the start how vulnerable I was, and got the vaccine as soon as I possibly could.
I recently spent a long time in hospital, and kept telling the nurses they needed a supply of Emergency Kittens for when a patient was having a bad day.
“Nurse! I need 200 CCs of kittens, stat!”
I really could have used an Emergency Kitten on some of those days.
Hell, I have no co-morbidities, I even have some minor things that might work in my favor (being female and type O blood), and I still got the vaccine as soon as I could. I’m reasonably confident in my ability to survive COVID, such that I was willing to take some exposure risks that weren’t strictly necessary because I had competing priorities. But no rational human being, no matter how healthy, looks at a disease that has killed so many and a vaccine that’s proven so effective and says, “no thanks, I’m good.”
I frequently find myself very thankful that Canada legalized pot before the shit hit the fan.
Pretty sure that @JaneDoe42 has established that that drug is kittens.
Hurray for Emergency Kittens! Ours sure saved hubs, LOL!
They are good for my mental health, not so good at stopping the pandemic as getting vaxxed. Of course, the threat of buying a second kitten was enough to convince hubs the idiot to get vaxxed, so maybe they are good at stopping the pandemic as well!
They just like saying “comorbidities” because it makes them sound scientific (even when they say it – and spell it – wrong).
At first I thought that 200 CCs seemed to be a pretty small dose of kitten to use in an emergency, but then I realized that kittens are a homeopathic treatment such that the smaller the kitten dosage the larger the effect.
Schrodinger’s kitten.
A like button would be very handy right about now!
I want a new drug, one that can purr.
One that sleeps in a sunbeam patch while I stroke its fur.
I want a new drug, that says meow.
One that likes its belly rubbed, and it wants it NOW.
One that might make me nervous, running a tiny zoo.
One that makes me rake through some sand to clean its poo.
Who’s the boss of who?
Oh god, you made me go and smirk.
EDIT: And fuck these people.
2nd EDIT: What do I tell people who say; “We don’t know the long term effects?”
We don’t know the long term effects of Covid either, even if you recover.
Of course if you don’t recover we do know the long term effects of dying.
We know a family that got Covid (pre-vaccine, they aren’t idiots). Not sure how sick they got, but the parents were competing with each other about who had the most comorbidities and hence was likeliest to die (everyone recovered, thankfully).
I honestly went back and forth on the dosage. I realized I really didn’t have a good idea of the actual volume of the average kitten 