Two black guys are having a beer, shooting the breeze. One says to the other, “You ever notice after you have sex with a white woman that your eyes burn, your nose itches and you get all teary-eyed?”
The second black guy says, “Yeah, all the time. What causes that?”
First guy replies “I think it’s the pepper spray.”
How do you get a truckload of dead babies into a bowl?
A blender!
How do you get them back out?
Tortilla chips!
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He got the gas bill.
I stole this one from a different thread, so thanks to whoever posted it.
Why did Michael Jackson hold his baby over the balcony?
To taunt Eric Clapton.
It takes some people a few seconds, but I am always crowned the sickest person in the bar.
What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Crib death.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
The nine year-old in my trunk.
Awww, you took mine. My other favorite conversation-stoppers:
What’s red and slimy and crawls up a woman’s leg?
A homesick abortion
Who killed more Indians than Custer?
Union Carbide
How do you get a black man out of a tree?
Cut the rope
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
Slicing onions makes me cry
Oh come on, this really isn’t funny! My Grandfather died in a concentration camp!
It was raining, he slipped and fell from a guard tower.
If I had a trophy, I would give it to you, because that was fuckin’ awesome!
What do all battered women have in common?
They don’t fucking listen
My first thought on seeing this commercial was, “God, some guys will do anything to get laid.”
Seeing as we’ve already opened the Racist Door (watch from 1 min-ish).
Q:How does every racist joke start?
A:With a glance back over you shoulder.
Q:What’s the worst thing about being a black Jew?
A:Sitting at the back of the oven.
An old black women goes to the doctors complaining of a sore throat, the doctor says “I’m going to need you to strip off, and go and kneel on all fours other in the corner”.
The woman complies, and the doctor then gets her to repeat the process in all corners of the room. Confused, the woman asks “how will this help my throat?”,
to which the doctor replies; “It won’t, I’ll give you antibiotics for that, I was just wondering where would I put my new brown leather armchairs when the delivery man gets here”.
Missed the edit but wanted to add;
Back to just sick;
Q: What’s the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: I take my shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
Q: What the 1st thing you should do after you’ve had a baby?
A: Do it’s diaper back up and hand it back to its mother.
What’s the difference between women and shrimp?Battered shrimp are crunchy and battered women are mushy.
I was never a fan of “what’s the difference” jokes. It’s always two things that have millions of differences between them.
It it okay of me to laugh because I’m Jewish, or racist because I’m white?
It’s always OK to laugh, whatever the subject matter. Laughing at/telling racist jokes does not equal racist behaviour. I always laugh at ‘honky/cracker’ jokes if they’re generally funny, so I don’t see what difference it makes if the joke features other ethic identities.
Q: Why can’t Stevie Wonder read?
A: Because he’s black.
Q: How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
A: The dog plays with it more.
What do you call a black test-tube baby?
Janitor in a Drum