Pavarotti meets St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter says “Welcome my friend.God is looking forward to meeting you and hearing your wonderful voice.”
Pavarotti says “Thank you so much. I have a note here for you from the Pope.”
“Oh” He opens the letter and it reads:
“Here’s that tenor I owe you.”
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
cough, cough
You WIN!
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing, they were both stuck up cunts.
What’s gray and comes in quarts?
An elephant.
What should you do if an elephant comes through your door?
Swim for the window!
What do elephants use for tampons?
Sheep.
What should you do with an elephant with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
What did one gay sperm say to another?
“How are we supposed to find an egg in all of this shit?”
Pavarotti’s place in the line-up has been taken by Elton John. They’re going to be advertised as “Two Tenors and a Nine-Bob Note”.
…I don’t get it.
Think “Deep Throat”.
So, Jesus is on the cross.
Jesus <in strained voice>: Peter?
Peter: Yes? Yes, my Lord?
Jesus: I can see your house from up here.
What’s Pavarotti’s wife getting this Christmas?
A smaller turkey.
I don’t get it.
Elton John’s gay. As in “queer as a nine-bob note”. OK, so you have to be British to see the funny side…
I’ve always heard it as “as bent as a nine-bob note”. Since there never was a nine-bob (nine shillings) note, then such a note is bound to be “bent” - meaning illegal - but thre phrase plays on the double entendre that “bent” also means homosexual. I guess “queer” would work as well.
I believe the translation to 'Merkin is “Queer as a 3-Dollar bill…” 
…wouldn’t that be balls then?..
In 1st grade class, the teacher was going through the alphabet and having kids spell words that begin with each letter…
Teacher: OK, class, who can spell a word that begins with “A”?
Mary: I can! Apple…A-P-P-L-E…
Teacher: Very good, Mary…OK, who can spell a word that begins with “B”?
Eddie: I can! Banana B-A-N-A-N-A…
…and so on…until the teacher reaches “W”…
Teacher: OK, who can spell a word that begins with “W”?
Johnny: I can! Womb…W-O-M-B…
Teacher: Very good, Johnny…that’s where babies come from, right?
Johnny: No, it’s the sound of two elephants fucking…WOMB! WOMB! WOMB!..
(speaking of Onomatopoeia)
Not if w’re talking about Cinderella the Nazi
Way to suck all the fun out of the Cinderella joke with your grammar, auRa.
Hehe, you said “suck”.