“It hovered in the air in the same way that bricks don’t.”
Douglas Adams, HHGTTG.
The most hilarious sentence ever written. Ooyeah.
“In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.” – André Maurois
That sounds like a line off of a Sublime song to me.
My favorite quote is “he who laughs last thinks slowest”
Not sure of the origin of this one:
“When faced with a difficult task, give it to a lazy man. He will find an easier way to do it.”
I think these two came from Will Rogers:
“You may be on the right track, but you’ll still get run over if you just stand there.”
“I’m not a member of any organized political party. I’m a Democrat.”
-Andrew L
“At the heart of all beauty lies something inhuman…” – Albert Camus
Just a selection of my favourites, I like to collect them.
“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; of having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but simply to pour them out.” - Dinah Mulock
“When you are in one place and long to be in another,it isn’t as easy as taking a boat. You don’t really long for something in another country. You long for something in yourself that you don’t have , or haven’t been able to find.” John Cheever
“I beg you, do not be unchangable.
Do not believe that you alone can be right.
The man that thinks that,
The man who maintains that only he has the power to reason correctly, the gift to speak to the soul-
A man like that, when you know him, turns out to be empty.” Sophocles.
“Only barbarians are not curious about where they come from, how they came to be where they are, where they appear to be going. Whether they wish to go there, and if so, why, and if not, why not” Isaiah Berlin
“Those that contemplate the beauty of the earth, find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is a symbolic as well as actual beauty in the migration of the birds, the ebb and flow of the tides, the folded bud ready for spring. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature- the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.” Rachel Carson
I’ll stop now… 
“Real men love getting hurt - that’s why God invented bandsaws.” --Greg Proops
Blink, look at the liner notes on the disc. Sublime has also borrowed from Jimmy Cliff, among others. BTW I think that their version of Scarlet Begonias is fantastic.
Blink178, Sublime covered that song. It is from a Grateful Dead song called “Scarlet Begonias”.
“Nothing left to do but smile smile smile…”~Robert Hunter
“God alone knows how many times our bellies, by the refusal of one single fart, have brought us to the door of an agonising death.”
“A mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions” - Oliver Wendell Holmes
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Han Tzu … I think…
“The truth is not simply the best policy, it is the only policy”
-
Harry S. Truman
“No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.”
-
George S. Patton
“We have met the enemy and he is us.”
-
Pogo (Walt Kelly)
“There is no problem so large, or so complicated that it cannot be run away from.”
-
Linus Van Pelt (Charles Schultz)
“Everyone says its a small world, but nobody wants to paint it.”
-
Steven Wright
“Where I used to be disgusted, I find that now I am merely amused.”
-
Oscar Wilde
“It could be worse … It could be raining.”
-
Mel Brooks by Marty Feldman, "Young Frankenstein"
I’m not 100% certain of all the attributions
It took me some twenty years to find this quote from when I first heard it. But a few years ago, I finally found it. I particularly like the italicized part:
“We need another and wiser concept of animals. In a world older than ours, they moved finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.
They are not our brethren, they are not underlings. They are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth.”
- Henry Beston
My own personal quote is “Biology waits for no one.” It reminds me to stop sitting on my butt and collect data.
“When I get finished with him, he’ll have to walk around in a wheelchair!”
— Bulldog Brown
“Either this wallpaper goes or I do.”
Oscar Wilde’s supposed last words.
“Sometimes men come by the name of genius in the same way that certain insects come by the name of centipede; not because they have a hundred feet, but because most people cannot count above fourteen.”
– Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
“Shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased. Thus to we refute entropy.” -Spider Robinson.
Yeah, Scarlet Begonias is the name of the song. Thats a good song, I never bothered to look at the notes on the back. I guess I just assumed that they wrote it!
I have quite a few I like… I added some of the ones here to my notebook too.
Black holes were created when god divided by 0. -Anon
Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back. - Maximus (Gladiator)
Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them. I do not care how crazy they are! - Dusk Til Dawn
No, no, don’t listen to me, listen. - Butterfly from The Last Unicorn
We the unwilling, led by the unknowing
Doing the impossible, for the ungrateful
We have done so much, for so long, with so little
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
-Henry Ford
Stupidity is a sin that is never forgiven and always punished. - Anon
Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again. - Anon
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. - Anon
It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning. - Calvin & Hobbes
The night summons like an unquenched love beckoning with the promise of dark desire. - Anon
I’ll stop now… oh and my sig.