Yeah, I know. I’m a geek-of-all-trades. What can I say? The positive quotations really help me stay that way during the stressful workday.
Anyway, I thought that those of us who enjoy quotes could share a few. Here are a few of my favorites:[ul][li]“All animals except man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.” - Samuel Butler[/li]
[li]“In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy.” - Karl Reiland[/li]
[li]“The first recipe for happiness is: Avoid too lengthy meditations on the past.” - Andre Maurois[/li]
[li]“Today is the future from which you expected so much in the past.” - Anonymous[/li]
[li]“No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back.” - Turkish proverb[/li]
[li]“Full maturity… is achieved by realizing that you have choices to make.” - Angela Barron McBride[/li]
[/ul] I’ve been doing my own quotes of the day for over a year now, so I’ve got a bunch. One more. This is one of my favorites from The Runner’s Book of Daily Inspiration: A Year of Motivation, Revelation, and Instruction by Kevin Nelson.
“My life is so much more exciting, much more fun, as a result of running. Life is so richer as a result of running. Running gives me more than I have ever given to it.” - Unidentified runner
“If I had a hammer, I’d use it on Peter, Paul and Mary” - Howard Rosenberg
“When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray’. We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.” - Desmond Tutu
“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do” - Dylan Thomas
Muslim: All other religions that worship idols are wrong.
Hume: In what way?
M: They bow down to lumps of rock. Can’t you see that’s wrong?
H: And when you pray, what do you pray to?
M: We pray to Allah!
H: So since Allah is everywhere, it doesn’t matter which way you face?
M: We must face Mecca.
H: And if you’re in Mecca, which way do you face?
M: We face the Ka’abah
H: And what is the Ka’abah?
M: It’s this huge rock…
I like this one from “Real Genius”
“the last words of Socrates; I drank what?”
“Those who fail to see the whimsy of things will experience rigor mortis before death.” - Tom Robbins
“This one goes to eleven.”
“Look, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.”
“D’oh”
“Stay away from the cans!”
“It’s all ball bearings these days.”
“I’ll be able to send more money next week as I will have more work. My friend Patty promised me a blow job.”
“This is the best pizza in a cup ever.”
“Worst. Episode. Ever.”
“Smithers!”
“Sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar eats you.”
“You’re the assistant to the assistant manager.”
“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong, man. I’m the dude.”
I leave it at that, although I could probably go on for another couple of pages. Don’t forget my sig.
“The worst government is the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.”
“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
“When faced with a diffucutly decision, it can be solved more easily by reducing it to the question, ‘How would the Lone Ranger handle this?’”
“Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.”
“The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.”
I got these from some crappy quote generating program on my old PC. Most it had attributed to anonymous, some the writers made themselves, I don’t remember where these came from.