[QUOTE=Rico]
I was thinking more of Close to Ewe…
[sub]Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…[/sub]
[/QUOTE]
Ewe Come Again
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog]
An Australian was working on contract in a New Zealand mining town. At the pub, he said to one of the Kiwis, “I notice there are few women in this town. What do you do for…”
The Kiwi cut him off: “It’s no secret. We just drive a little way out of town and find an attractive sheep.”
“But that’s disgusting! And anyway, it’s illegal.”
“Yeah, but we all do it. The cops will turn a blind eye.”
The Australian is appalled by this, but as the weeks pass, the sheep start to look a little better, so one day he jumps in his car and drives out of town in search of an attractive ewe. "
[/QUOTE]
Alternate ending:
He gets there and finds a corral where others are already having sex with sheep. Ashamed, he grabs one and does the deed, unable to look the other men in the eye.
The next day, he goes into town and everybody’s pointing and laughing at him.
“I don’t get it,” he said, “all the men are doing it. Why are you laughing at just me?”
One of the townspeople yells back, “Well you picked the ugliest one!”
Genuine news item last year in the UK was about a gay bloke who lasooed a goat in a field in the middle of nowhere,started er making love to it, when a train full of people on a line running alongside the field stopped for a signal and provided him with an unexpected audience.
He was arrested though what the actual charge was I’m not sure.
Our British police are wonderful!
They may not turn up for a couple of days when you ring in that your house is in the process of being burgled but have sex with an underage goat(Well they all are aren’t they?)and they go medievil on your arse.
Makes me feel all safe and protected.
Sheep? Really…? ick. ick. ick.
visualizing Seinfeld spitting out mutton
If it’s really weird you want, then Kenneth Pinyan is…well, was, your man.
ETA quote:
*Kenneth Pinyan (June 22, 1960 - July 2, 2005) was a Gig Harbor[1], Washington resident who engaged in receptive anal sex with full-size stallions at a farm near the city of Enumclaw. He videotaped those sex acts and distributed them informally under the name Mr. Hands.
During a July 2005 sex act, which was being videotaped by a friend of his, he suffered a perforated colon, and later died of his injuries.*
The Classic joke on this subject…
If the Rolling Stines were Scots…
“Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!”
regards
FML
[QUOTE=lobotomyboy63]
If it’s really weird you want, then Kenneth Pinyan is…well, was, your man.
ETA quote:
*Kenneth Pinyan (June 22, 1960 - July 2, 2005) was a Gig Harbor[1], Washington resident who engaged in receptive anal sex with full-size stallions at a farm near the city of Enumclaw. He videotaped those sex acts and distributed them informally under the name Mr. Hands.
During a July 2005 sex act, which was being videotaped by a friend of his, he suffered a perforated colon, and later died of his injuries.*
[/QUOTE]
I watched the movie “Zoo,” which was about this guy and the incident. It sucked horse cock. It was seriously, like, one of the most boring movies I have ever had the misfortune of watching. It won like nine different prestigious awards for documentary films or something, and it was absolutely terrible. For a movie about something as shocking and disturbing as the subject matter, it really managed to be sleep-inducing. It consisted of about nine thousand slow-motion shots of the rolling countryside, with dramatic music in the background, and a tiny tiny bit of vague information about the actual case.
Ugh.
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.]
“I saw him in broad daylight. I was in the yard and only looked over because all the sheep were running…”
[/QUOTE]
She didn’t say whether they were running away from him or toward him.
[QUOTE=Mama Tiger]
You know, the Dope has untold numbers of educational, ignorance-fighting, mind-challenging threads.
So why is it I skip over them all and immediately open the one about the sheep molester?
[/QUOTE]
I opened it because I wanted to know how long it would take before someone made the obligatory Hal reference. (Post #3)
[QUOTE=Argent Towers]
I watched the movie “Zoo,” which was about this guy and the incident. It sucked horse cock.
[/QUOTE]
To the target audience, that could be taken as high praise
[QUOTE=panache45]
She didn’t say whether they were running away from him or toward him.
[/QUOTE]
A shepherd is having trouble getting his ram to impregnante his 20 female sheep. So he goes to the vet and tells him he doesn’t know if they’re having sex at all. The vet tells him that female sheep always lie down after sex. So the shepherd leaves and during the next week, he checks on them from time to time. They’re always standing.
So he decides that maybe if he shows the ram what to do…he loads all of the sheep in to the back of the pick up truck and takes them out to the middle of a remote field on his farm where no one can see or hear him and he has sex with all twenty. The ram still doesn’t seem to understand.
He’s exhausted and the following week, every morning he looks out, hoping to see the ewes lying down. But all of the females are standing. So he decides to take them all out and try again [lather, rinse, repeat]
A month later he’s so exhausted he can’t even get out of bed. He asks his wife to look out the window and tell him if the sheep are lying down. She looks out the window and says “No honey they’re in the truck, honking the horn.”
Woody Allen/Everything you always wanted to know about sex:
I couldn’t find the entire clip, though…or else I’m not remembering it correctly. Didn’t Gene Wilder end up on skid row, drinking Woollite from a paper bag?
[QUOTE=lobotomyboy63]
Woody Allen/Everything you always wanted to know about sex:
I couldn’t find the entire clip, though…or else I’m not remembering it correctly. Didn’t Gene Wilder end up on skid row, drinking Woollite from a paper bag?
[/QUOTE]
Yes, he did.
[QUOTE=LurkMeister]
Yes, he did.
[/QUOTE]
Good! That was hilarious…and when they show the sheep wearing a garter belt!
I recently saw a cartoon somewhere. One guy is having sex with a sheep, mounting it doggy-style. Another guy has his face buried in the sheep’s crotch. The first one says, “You are one sick bastard!”
[QUOTE=Green Bean]
I opened it because I wanted to know how long it would take before someone made the obligatory Hal reference. (Post #3)
[/QUOTE]
Well, yes, and that too. Alas, someone was faster than I.