Amateur_Barbarian:
Can anyone medical or otherwise experienced explain how someone able to reach a toilet, no matter how feeble or constricted in movement, could have a bowel condition that would create such explosive spattering… and without apparently fouling themselves past what they can clean up with a little TP?
As to how , I don’t really know and I’m not sure I want to; but Billy Rubin , the OP of the “prehensile rectum” thread I linked to earlier, offered this explanation:
This morning, privately, I confronted Mr. Fuckwicket. As nicely as possible. Apparently he does use, perhaps overuse, laxatives. He feels that if his digestive tract has anything in it he’ll immediately begin to get fat, and he can’t stand fat. So he shits like the exhaust of a jet engine. No Crohn’s nor other physical illness.
He hates it when the water from the toilet splashes up on him so he sits way forward on the seat and leans over so he doesn’t get splashed. Hence, the spray all over the crapper, and everything else.