Its up to me to find out where he is working to do the new garnishee order.
Does anyone here know? He sure as hell wont tell me!
He still hasnt seen the kids…its been since the end of July, and Frankie’s birthday was the 6th of September, and we still havnt heard from anyone in his family, so I doubt anyone in his family will tell me.
If I wasnt so sick right now, I would be way more upset…I am just stunned right now.
Any ideas out there on how to do the ‘Nancy Drew’ and find out where he is?
Hey Kelli, he really sucks for a man. In the states the police department or a lawyer (not sure which) can do a trace on his social security number to find out where he works. This is a long term fix because every place he works supposedly requires that he have a social security number. I believe that you mentioned that he worked under the table for a while in a previous post. That is a tought one to fix. Anyone else have suggestions?
SC
“People’s Poet don’t die, we’ll kill ourselves if you do, but first we’ll take off all our clothes.” The Young Ones
The only thing I know of is a Private Detective, which is expensive. He sounds awful although this is the first I have heard.
Just a note, I wish my X would disappear from the face of the earth, for my son’s sake. He has been making my life a living hell for the last 7 years and my son’s for the last four. I feel for you though, hang in there and good luck on finding him and maybe mine will lose himself.
Ahhhh…the old “Shitboy takes a job under the table to avoid paying support trick”…
My sister knows this dance well. She started getting friends to frequent his hangouts (they were all dive bars), and snooped that way. And I don’t know about Canada, but in the states we can find out through family court where he’s working by SS#. (although if he’s working under the table, as in off the books, that won’t work).
Kelli, if you want some advice, here’s mine. Cut your losses and move on. I have watched my sister spend more negative energy and time (that she could have been spending enjoying her kids) hunting down her shitboy. It breaks my heart. It’s been years, and still it’s on again, off again payments. Constant family court. Seems like for that kind of effort and pain the money isn’t worth it, unless it is the absolute only way to support yourself and your family. What a nightmare for you…I hope it works out-
I hope I don’t get lectures about how “it’s his responsibility” blah, blah, blah- I understand all of that. But the reality is, you can’t get blood from a stone, you can’t count on Shitboy money, and sometimes you just have to say “*uck you then” and move on. Otherwise you’re in for years and years of this shit.
Hope you feel better Kelli, and I hope I haven’t depressed you
If he has started working under the table, there’s no easy way to get at his money. You might try calling the IRS to report the employer for tax evasion, but there’s no telling how long it would take them to investigate.
Kelli, if it was me, I’d just say fuck it, and try to get along without his money. Seems like your doing it anyway. Ask the court to end his parental rights. You can do it. Otherwise, you’re going to go through this over and over, and is that worth it? This guy is on a mission to never pay his son’s support, are you up to that? Is this the father figure you want your son to use as a guide to grow up to, or is your son better off with someone else to fill those shoes, even if it’s his mom doing it?
This is a small province, and from the info I managed to get from the previous employer, I found out what type of work he is leaving to do…and yes, you guessed it, it looks like its under the table.
Maybe I should just let it go…nah, screw that! By the time I am done with him, he wont be able to get a job flipping burgers!!!
Its not even the money, its the principal of the thing.Maybe if someone in his life had ever made him live up to his responsibilities…he wouldnt be such a peiice of crap.
Oh, so it’s a payback thing? Follow him. Take pictures of him working. He’s an ex-con right? What do they do to tax evading ex-con’s who don’t pay support in Canada?
HELL NO! Do NOT drop it. Even a SMALL contribution by him could help take the load off your back. Knowing that there is something coming every month adds a level of comfort for you that is converted in hundreds of positive ways to your kids.
Only Lame-assed guys and clueless women will tell you to drop it—“you can manage on your own anyway”. That is small-minded, idiotic, un-sympathetic, AND an insult to any mother who wants MORE for HER CHILDREN!!! “Managing” or “getting by” isn’t enough. Why should it be?
It’s not about “Paybacks”. It’s about giving the KIDS what they DESERVE.
I’m sorry for your children. Go after him Kelli. Don’t let anyone dissuade you. Make him DO THE RIGHT THING.
A skip tracer (private eye) can usually handle this in a day or two if s/he knows his business. So if you hire one he won’t be on your payroll for weeks.
Kellibelli, I join with all the other voices in telling you to HANG IN THERE! While hiring a private detective/skip tracer may be advisable, never underestimate the power of just vengeance as a motivator – if there are any good libraries near you, just go there and research ‘skiptracing’. For that matter, I just did a quick-n-dirty search on Lycos for ‘skiptracing’ and got back a wad of possible sites, including some in Canada as close as Nova Scotia, and also some references to paralegal services, which could be significantly cheaper than a detective, if you choose to use one.
I also have several books at home that deal with tracking down people (I’ve got a couple of stories along somewhat the same lines as yours, but I’ve decided to put them off to retirement for settling accounts, since I’ll need something to keep me busy). I’ll try to remember to stick them in my bag and give you some info on them tomorrow.
Kelli, I don’t know what province you’re in, but in many provinces there is what is called a “Maintenance Enforcement Program”. Here in Alberta, all child support orders are automatically enforced by MEP unless the recipient opts out. This has made life infinitely easier for recipients here, as it is now MEP’s responsibility to chase the payor. In addition, MEP being a government program, they have access to all sorts of records that the ordinary individual doesn’t. You may want to contact a lawyer, or even a clerk at the courthouse in your area, to find out if MEP operates in your province.
Just make sure he’s not dangerous, though. You read over and over again about this sort of thing ending up in bloodshed–how big a nut is Shitboy? He’s not apt to get violent when cornered, is he?
