Shitboy's Revenge

Okatym - Good God take a breath, you’re turning blue.

I don’t think anyone is telling Kel to let this guy shirk his child support duties. They are telling her that she should not depend on a monthly payment as part of her budget. She said herself that he has not been sending a regular check. As hard as it may be, she needs to be capable to support her kids without his help.

I am a single mother of 3 kids. The dad of my youngest child has never missed a payment since the day he was born 8 ½ years ago. I do budget that money, but I have a back-up (savings) just in case he decides to miss a payment. So far, so good.

My ex-husband (the father of my two oldest kids) was undependable. He would go two or three months without sending a payment. I would budget it into my checkbook to be used for bills because he would swear that he mailed it. It would never show up and I would have to scramble for money to pay the light or gas bill. He would give me excuse after excuse. The envelope fell behind the fridge. The post office returned it because he forgot a stamp. Etc. Etc. Just bullshit like that.

I finally contacted the Office of Recovery Services to collect for me, but they took months to process. If the guy changes jobs, or worse, moves out of state, then the money stops for an extended period of time. ORS’s hands are basically tied when it comes to collect money paid under the table.

My ex has been at the same company for 18 years with no plans of leaving. Recovery Services garnish his check each month. However, I still don’t depend on that money to survive because things could change at any time.

I learned early on that there is only one person that I can depend on to support my kids - Me.

In a perfect world, fathers would pay support on time, every time. Custodial parents could count on support money as part of their monthly budget. It is not a perfect world and even with support like ORS or court orders, nothing guarantees that you will receive child support on a regular basis. It takes time to go through the processes and things can change quickly (i.e. quit or change jobs). We can kick and scream and voice our disgust of these deadbeat dads (Hell - I’ll jump on my soapbox and lead the rant), but the cold hard fact it that as unfair as it is that these assholes worm out of support, the kids still need to be supported and it is up to us to pick up the slack.

You should go after this jerk, Kel, but you also need to get yourself into a position that doesn’t depend on him. You can take this for what it is worth, but in my own situation, I took some classes and started putting in for higher paying jobs, I also made some adjustments in my budget, refinanced my house, cut back on electricity, etc. It was extremely difficult, but I did it. Now I can support my kids easily on my income with more than enough left over for playing. The child support payments I receive go into a savings account that will be used for my kids education.

Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

Thanks Di, you dont know how much I admire the way you manage.

And I am working on it. My new job it 30% more per year than my last job, BEFORE commision, and that commision really adds up :).

The company pays for courses and I have take an excel course so far, and I am looking at Powerpoint next. The main perk here is the hours, mon to fri, 830 to 5, hard to get here in ‘Shiftworktown’.

I dream of the day where I can manage all without his contribution, and to be perfectly honest, I have managed on FAR less than I get just on my own right now…if this was summer, I might not even care, but the weather has turned, snow is in the air, and we need oil for heating the home $400, hats, mits, boots, coats, etc, etc, and of course, looming on the horizon…christmas.
And despite all that, I am trying to pay down debt accrued before the job change…once I get caught up, maybe I will be able to stick his support where it belongs…(in the bank ;))

If he doesnt pay, the kids wont go hungry, but the phone company might!

Okatym, for your information, I’m doing quite well. I own and rent houses to tourists in the Orlando area. I’ve done well for my children WITHOUT ANY support from their deadbeat mother. I quit trying after a year of her leaving them on the doorstep (back when I was poor), because I knew that it was better for them not to see dad going after mom for money. I worked my way through college, got a decent job, saved my money and started buying houses. I’m up to five propereties now, and since my day job folded, I’ve decided to semi-retire at the ripe age of 40. I have been very fortunate by having a little common sense and being at the right place at the right time. My beautiful second wife of 10 years has loved my kids like they were her own, and she’s given me a third precious child.

You seem to have you priorities fucked up. Beleive me, it’s better to live with less and have good, well adjusted kids than it is to live with a little extra money at the expense of setting a dangerous example to your kids.

Your assumptions of my being a red neck trailer trash beer belly so and so illustrate how stupid you really are. You probably are the type of woman who has total control over the household, and would take hubby to the cleaners if he ever strayed, at any cost.

Two words for you: tubal ligation


Let the record show that this didn’t turn nasty until Okatym started spewing at a poster’s opinion she disagreed with. I’m willing to continue with you, Okatym, but we should probably drag this over to the pit.


The record is clear, Bubba.

I think you come to a point in your life where you realize that trying to get someone else to do the right thing is ruining your life.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do what you’re doing, kelli. You’re an intelligent woman (or so I’ve gathered from your posts) - I’m sure you’ve weighed the alternatives and decided upon this course of action.

I am saying that you should check yourself every once in a while… the longer this goes on, the harder it will be to continue. Please don’t sacrifice your (or your children’s) happiness.

Most common question I ask: “What?”
Most common question I get: “Are you really hearing impaired?”

I am saying that you should check yourself every once in a while… the longer this goes on, the harder it will be to continue. Please don’t sacrifice your (or your children’s) happiness.

That is good advice, and I will follow it.

Whatever happen, you got friends.
You need help, I’m an e-mail away.

We have met the enemy, and He is Us.–Walt Kelly