OP’s post could be read as implying he is in a relationship, but the whole “never been kissed” thing would probably suggest not.
If you want to, OP, go for it. Be safe, be sane, do your research. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with paying for it as long as you’re respectful and straightforward. I don’t think you should be embarassed or ashamed of considering it, although it’s certainly reasonable to be private about it.
If you don’t want to but are simply feeling upset or nervous about being a virgin, then don’t. That’s no reason to force yourself into a situation you don’t want to be in.
You may want to try posting on a service like Craigslist, especially if you’re in a decent-sized area – there absolutely are women out there who are interested in these kinds of situations. Just be aware that you’re going to get a fair bit of spam and fake responses. Use good spelling and grammar, be honest, and understand that you’re probably going to mostly have luck with girls who are “in your league.”
I’m assuming this is a serious question. Bad idea. Hiring a prostitute or escort is a just plain bad idea.
Concerning your fear that everyone else has been having sex since high school: not true. There are millions of guys who didn’t have sex in high school. Concerning fear of being inexperienced: it’s not difficult to figure out. There are also books with advice for your first time.
When a girl loses her virginity, there’s usually a hot tub, champagne, jazz on the stereo, a plate of raw oysters, candy and flowers. When a guy loses his virginity, there’s usually four or five other guys present (for the same reason) and a haggard-looking woman who was paid to be there. The women you know from your own social peer group weren’t there for you. At this point, you really don’t owe anyone any explanations.
Assuming you aren’t actually in a relationship at the moment and it’s something that’s weighing on your mind, I’d say do it, but do it right.
Travel if necessary to somewhere i’t legal and pay the coin to get a high class escort. There’s plenty of working ladies who would be happy to take you through the process, be patient with you and give some guidance about what to do. Far preferable to just copying what you see in Porno’s.
This is true to some extent, particularly of street walkers. Those you find putting out ads or working for agencies…almost never. In the case of highend prostitutes they seem to like their job and certainly can make some serious bank doing it and are their own bosses (think the kind senators make use of).
Some prostitutes will advertise themselves as “GFE” which stands for “girlfriend experience” and is as the name implies. How well they deliver on that is anyone’s guess and likely anywhere from really good to not good at all. Willing to bet these days there are reviews of prostitutes available on the internet somewhere.
FTR: No, I have never made use of a prostitute (although I think it should be legal). Not really sure where I pick stuff like this up.
I thnk he has mentioned a couple of times since that the “girlfriend” is a hypothetical future girlfriend, whom he’d have to face about his background and that worries him.
:dubious: :rolleyes:
Really, dude… Sorry it was like that for you, bro.
(The awkwardness of two college kids half-baked and kind of winging it has its own special charm )
Depending on circumstances, there may be nothing wrong with it in an absolute moral sense. But it is pathetic.
I imagine this is a funny commentary on how pathetic it is. If serious, it would be just really pathetic, and a bit frightening, and good evidence that the SDMB is not where you want to get your sex and relationship advice.
Voted no but essentially my opinion is it doesn’t matter.
Despite how they depict it in the movies, there is no magical change that happens because of just the sexual act. I lost my virginity in a one-night stand, and we were both pretty drunk. The biggest let down was simply that I didn’t feel any different the next day. Was that it?
Same thing all the times after that I had sex.
OTOH being in a serious relationship, and falling in love for the first time (both of which happened more than 10 years later for me) truly were life-changing, and now I’m excited by relationships rather than apprehensive.
But just to be clear though, I’m not saying only look for love and not sex.
I’m just saying if you think this is going to change you, and make you more confident with women, more positive about relationships etc, I doubt it.
True, but he won’t realize until later that his first sexual experience doesn’t really matter and isn’t even remotely going to be a life changing experience.
I think that it can indeed makes him more confident, however.
Seriously, different people are different. I wouldn’t look down on a partner who’d paid for sex in the past. There’s a lot of different circumstances that could lead to that.
Just because you’re judgmental and insulting doesn’t make you right.
Like I said before, at least it may help avoid deer-in-headlamps moments, and you are both right, it may also allow someone to get over the “huh… really, that’s IT? No earth-shattering epiphany? Just a whole bunch of smeary fluids?” letdown.
The whole part of attitudes toward the patronage of sexworkers is really another thread (and already has been), but in a way it is relevant to this, in that he should be aware that yes, there’s a lot of women out there who *will *really look harshly at anyone who availed himself of such services. Let that be a warning.
It certainly is relevant, but it’s just one factor to weigh.
It wouldn’t be a huge deterrant for me, for instance, as that sort of close-mindedness is as big a turnoff to me in a partner as anything. Moreover, I don’t think it’s something OP is particularly obligated to disclose.
I haven’t read the whole thread, but wanted to explain my no vote quickly here.
The way I see it, a 27-year-old virgin is not a virgin due to mechanics. It not like he’s had dozens of girlfriends and just kept missing the hole when they tried to have sex. In real life, beginners at sex mostly laugh over the awkward moments and figure out how to finish the act. Even if he’s really bad, he’s still getting laid the first time at least.
No, the guy’s problem is going to be how he meets and relates to women. He’s either not trying or he’s doing something wrong.
While a prostitute can educate you about the mechanics of sex, she’s going to be pretty much worthless in terms of teaching you how to meet and relate to real women. In fact, learning to pay for sex might actually hurt your chances of a functional interaction with regular people.
You’d be better off trawling the Internet for a pity fuck. Post on Craig’s List and say “I’m a 27 year old virgin. Need patient woman to teach me what I’m doing wrong.” I guarantee he gets responses to that. They might all be insane, but what woman isn’t, at least a little.
You know, there are men out there who use prostitutes not out of any sense of desperation or lack of other options but rather because they like it. There are plenty of attractive features to completely, truly, no-strings-attached sex that is catered to your personal kinks.
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