Ok here is the story. I work in a 25 story building with God knows how many other thousand people. One of these people, who I’m only aware of because we tend to get here and leave about the same time each day, is a very scary man. He never fails to smile or make eye contact and sometimes he will actually nod to me as if to say hello! Can you believe it?!?
Ok so get this. This morning, he actually had the nerve to SPEAK to me. He said, and I quote “Hi. My name is Lee Tyson and I work up on 17. I hope you don’t think this is too forward, but I’ve noticed you coming into and leaving the building and you always look so nice. You are a very attractive woman.”
!!!
As you can imagine, I gave him an icy stare that hopefully froze the blood in his veins, took a step back from him as if he had a sign on his forehead that said “Beware! I have plague, leprosy, and very bad breath!,” and said in a hiss “If you ever come near me again I’ll have you arrested for stalking me. How dare you speak to me like that.”
So how should I handle this maniac? My god! Of all the nerve. To speak to ME! I’m thinking of getting a restraining order. What do you think?
I would have recommended using the words a somewhat-famous man once said: “Wow! You are a complete mental case - and you hide it so well!” instead of what you said. YMMV.
Too funny. Good beltway gender spin. As the posts get farther apart the satire may get lost. For convenience and as a public service I will include the parodied post here. lol
Don’t be surprised if he starts staring blankly at your tits from now on. That’s just how these sickos operate. Then, BAM, you hit him with the full force of the law.
Egad! To think, all this time I’ve been exibiting all the character traits of a slavering sexual predator!
Clearly the only remedy for such blatantly antisocial,…er…social activity is a series of heavy handed workplace fraternization rules!
Nothing will make for a more comfortable working climate than a standardized book of company-approved non-threatening greetings, replies and responses (okayed by the legal department). Failure to adhere to this template risks immiediate termination.
I know how you feel. Just the other day I was coming back to the office after shopping at the mall when some sick pervo had the nerve to not only smile but to HOLD THE FREAKIN’ DOOR FOR ME! I have no doubt that he was lurking around waiting for some defenseless women with her arms full of packages to take advantage of.
Just as I was walking through the door and could feel “those eyes” leering at me, I turned around and gave him a hard kick in the nads. It’s a damn good thing I still had the use of my legs, otherwise he may have tried to hit the elevator button for me as well!!!
I think you should go big bore, on this one. (I mean, look at the guy!) .50 Desert Eagle or better, I’d say. You should spare no expense to ensure your safety. Or the death of strange stalkery guys.
On tv sitcoms, that would be called a good pick-up line by Lee, and the two of you would hit it off.
I am no legal expert, but so far this Lee is not what I would call stalking you. And if some of you really think a gun is the appropriate response, I think you are very wrong. Do you think she could carry a loaded gun with her? What good would an unloaded gun do? Just to scare him? I think she would probably be arrested for carrying a weapon and threatening him.
um. [sub Cheese Head look up. you’ll see (first of all) a ‘whoosh’ and second of all, a link to another thread - this thread is a parody of that one.[/sub]
Not stalking me! How can you SAY that? He arrives at/leaves from work at the SAME PLACE I DO, sometimes even at the SAME TIME! And he’s looked at me before! And did you not notice that I said he spoke to me?? And told me I looked nice??! Hello, are you BLIND??? Of course he is stalking me! If I was your daughter you wouldn’t be defending him. Hmph!
Ok, I see the “At least she didn’t slap me” thread by plnnr now. Pretty subtle. Opal had me going for a while, but I was suspicious when I saw the replies about buying a gun and so on.
Cheese Head: You weren’t the only one who didn’t get it at first. I’m reading this thread and thinking to myself “Wait a minute…Opal doesn’t work outside of her home. What in the hell is she talking about?” Then I went and read the other thread and you all probably heard the sound of me banging my head repeatedly into the desktop because I finally got the joke.
BTW, forget the mace. Get pepper spray instead. That stuff really burns when you get it in your eyes [sub]not that I would know anything about that[/sub]
