Should I not get involved with this woman?

I met a woman a little over a week ago and I’m really falling for her. My feelings are stronger for her than hers are for mine. She is the sweetest woman I’ve ever met (from what I can tell so far). She has stressed how important honesty is to her (which is sort of a red flag).

She is absolutely gorgeous and is 42 y.o. I’m guessing she likes attention as her breasts are pretty much on display when she’s out, and no exaggerating, they are the nicest breasts I’ve ever seen.

She told me she has only slept with three men in her life. This set off my bullshit detector. She seems pretty flirtatious and I could have slept with her on Sat. night (7 days after our first date). Our first date was dinner, our second and third were at her place. We were in her bed and while I was on top of her she seemed a little tense, so I asked if she wanted me to. She said “it’s okay.” So I didn’t and told her we should wait based on that kind of answer. We lied next to each other and she told me it meant a lot to her that I did that.

Yesterday she sent me two pictures (bra and panties shots, no head included) that she said she took just for me because I told her I like pink. I had suspicions, so I checked the efix data on them. It says they were taken at 8:10 on Aug. 31, 2012.

I called her out on hem via text messaging. This is how it went:

Me: Cathy, did you really take those pics in bra and undies for me the other day? 12:17 PM

Her: Yes I did , you said you liked pink …, 12:23 PM

Her: I hope they didnt turn you off 12:23 PM

Me: You don’t know what EFIX data is, do you? I can extract all kind of interesting info from pics taken on a smart phone. You used an iPhone 4, resolution was 640 x 480 etc. Most interesting is time and date. They were taken at 8:10 on Aug. 31, 2012. I thought I could trust you. 12:23 PM

Her: Well whatever data it is wrong , wow 12:24 PM

Me: Don’t do this Cathy. Fess up and I can let it go. Please don’t ruin this. The data is never wrong. 12:26 PM

Her: Well I guess it is ., I can’t believe you would do something like that and accuse of me of something I thought I was doing nice for you … Matthews room wasn’t even done yet last summer and I took the pics in there .

The rest is embarrassing. I apologize and she says that I remind her of her ex husband as he tracked her calls, etc.

I started the following thread earlier:

According o Dog80, most likely she’s lying.

Should I let it go anyway? Is it an innocent lie? It’s hard for me to come to a conclusion on my own as my heart gets in the way.

Sounds like you’re fishing for an excuse not to be with her, recycling an old picture wouldn’t be that big of a deal for me if everything else was fine.

P.S. Would probably for the sake of privacy obscure the details of the convo…or ask a mod to, rather.

I do not think she should get involved with you.

I changed her real name in the conversation.

Digging through my crap lately I found a few old cell phones. Decided to see if they still worked and maybe give em away to somebody that needs them

Right now at least one of them thinks it is 1980 for Pete’s sake. So, weird shit can happen.

Either she’s crazy,and or both of you can’t let the small stuff go.

Why? Is checking the efix data that bad?

Just as a general rule, the things people mention when unasked are the things that they are hung up on. Sometimes, those hangups mean they have trouble with the topic themselves.
You have two facts here:

  1. she stressed that “honesty matters” to her
  2. she has taken sexy shots of herself and then pretended that she took them specifically for you, when she did not.

I think with those two data points, you can make your own decision.

Think about the following:

Everyone tells everyone little white lies. Everyone’s personal comfort level for what level of honesty and openness there is between friends/lovers/partners varies dramatically. How do you feel about this sort of thing being a “little white lie” to her?

Think about her response to your catching her out - she tried to make you feel guilty by comparing you to her ex who “always tracked her calls.” Do you want to be in a relationship where someone uses guilt-trips to try and take the focus off of their own actions?

People DO NOT CHANGE other people - if she is this way, she will BE this way until and unless she decides to change for her own reasons. She CAN’T change because you want her to, and even if she tells you she will change for you, she most likely WON’T, because it’s an asslot of effort, and if she doesn’t think it’s important personally, it’s not important enough for her to put the required effort in.

If it were me, I would be wishing the nice boobies a very sad farewell, but then I grew up with a parent who pulled tricks like that, and I’m really not willing to deal with it in an adult relationship. YMMV.

Yes. Because the only reason someone would ever check that was if they didn’t trust someone and wanted to confront them with it. If you’re getting all worked up over a picture this soon into the relationship, it sends on red flags for HER to get away asap.

IMO its pretty darn weird and stalkery.

I can’t tell you not to get involved with this woman. I can tell you that if you do get involved, this is going to be one of the least bizarre things she does.

It would never occur to me to check the efix data if someone sent me pictures of her in her underwear, but I am not much into photo technology. Just out of curiosity, you said the face was not in the pictures - are you sure they were of her?

FWIW, if you want to deal with lots of issues, subscribe to National Geographic or get a pet monkey or something. If the nice boobies outweigh other considerations, well, good luck, and be sure to write from prison.


I brought up her boobs being nice because she seems to use them to get attention and don’t jibe with her “purity” thing she seems also to stress. I won’t be going to prison.

**Should I not get involved with this woman? **

You know, when you have to ask…

That’s an excellent point.

Yeah that. Little white lies.

She sends you a nice tit pic she thinks you will like. She “says” she did it for you recently. But the OP goes all CSI on it and finds out she did not (probably).

What was the OP expecting her to say?

"Hey sweetie, I figured you would like this tit pic. Now I took it awhile back and have emailed it to a bunch of other guys I dated or chatted with.

But I thought you might like it too."

Nobody wants to hear that even if its true.

Good grief.


Dude, you’ve only been dating for a week, and you already went so far as to scan her photos for when and where they were taken, then accused her of lying. You don’t trust her at all, for whatever reason. Cut off the relationship.

Does her father own a liquor store?

TRUTH. And what do you mean that photo info checker is “never wrong”? Come on. Maybe the date on her camera is off or something weird. I’d be 100x pissed if I were her. And I’d be showing my fabulous boobies to someone else for sure.

^^ This X100. Your “evidence” for her lying is tenuous and easily explained away while your behavior is appalling. If you already don’t trust her this much just walk away. If she has any sense this is all irrelevant as she already has…

This. People fib, especially at the start of relationships. Engaging in this little bit of Sherlock Holmes weirdness makes Fantome the one to watch out for.

When someone sends you boob pics, you let stuff slide. She didn’t want to admit to you that she might have taken them to show someone else before you. That’s normal. What you did isn’t.

You know, even if this hadn’t’ve been followed by a nightmare blowup based on something insignificant…

(also, exif. Not efix. As long as you’re having teachable moments.)