I’ve been in college the last 4 years. After 2 years at the university(but still two from a BS), I’ve decided to take a different route and join the Navy.
This isn’t much of a problem for me. In 2 years of unversity, I’ve made a grand total of 1 friend at the unversity, and I have 2 others who live in the area. so I’m not leaving much behind. It’s pretty much a clean break. I finish one more semester and leave for basic in May(signed the papers, sworn in, go to the DEP meetings, etc).
I’d always said that if fate wanted to be a turd, it would drop a relationship in my lap, now that I’m getting ready to leave in a few months. And I might have been right.
A week ago I took my first chemistry lab for this semester and met a girl who seemed very friendly. She said she recognized me from last semesters chem lab. She also asked me if I’d be lab partners.
Frankly, I read these kind of signals about as well as I speak esperanto(not at all), so I can’t tell if she’s just friendly or if she’s got the hots for me. That and I haven’t had that class since then so I don’t have any more to go on. If it’s the former, no problem. If it’s the latter, that complicates things.
As I said before, I’m leaving in 4 months, so if there would be a relationship, it would essentially be doomed from the start. There is no doubt in my mind it would be essentially dead once I leave for boot camp, and I keep thinking it would be cruel to start something, only to say “I’m going to be gone in 4 months and I’m likely not coming back”.
But this is probably a false alarm because now that I’ve spent a week pondering it and even bothered to post about it, no doubt it will turn out she dropped off the face of the earth(like the last girl I thought might be interested) or it turns out she was just being friendly.
Seconded. (And besides, haven’t there been half a hundred movies that started with, “I love you, but I’m going off to war and may never see you again”? And didn’t most of those have, at the very least, very steamy kissing?)
Date her. Enjoy the company and the time for what it is and see what happens.
My first experiment with romance was while I was studying in Japan. We both knew nothing would come of it, but 20 years later, I still enjoy the memories.
A friend of mine did a bit better. He was already in the Navy when he met a girl while he was stationed in Annapolis. They liked each other, but swore they’d only be friends and continued to be so after he was posted to Puerto Rico. They stayed friends for several years, until they finally realized what they had was more than mere friendship and wound up marrying each other and staying together for over 30 years.
Think of what you stand to gain, not lose, and go for it!
CJ
Hopeless romantic
It seems rather pointless to date if there’s not even a slight chance of you staying. But if you decide to date her, make sure she knows you’re leaving.
I once started dating a guy (in Toronto) that was moving to England in a few months. I fell for him, hard.
He left for England, I was very sad and lonely. Eventually, when it was possible, I too went to England - not because I couldn’t live without him, but because I needed closure: I needed to know whether I couldn’t live without him, before I could move on.
Got to England. Realized I could live without him. Broke up with him, after a year and a half of long-distance relationship.
Just before my visa ran out and I had to come back to Canada, wouldn’t you know it, I started dating someone else.
Fell for him, hard.
He came to visit me once in Toronto; I knew I had to either marry him (so he could stay in Canada) or break it off (because I couldn’t carry on another long-distance relationship).
Married him. Never looked back.
So, in conclusion: be careful, because the stakes are high. If you kind of like her, but not enough to do what it takes to be with her (whatever that may be), you are in for some heartache.
Well, I’m pretty much locked into the Navy at this point, so the only way any hypotheical relationship could continue would be her choice, not mine. As I doubt that would happen, hence the “doomed” prognosis.
Granted, the biggest hypthothical would be me having enough guts to ask her out in the first place(assuming she beat me over the head with the “I’m interested” signal), and considering I’ve never been able to do that in the last 23 years, I doubt it’ll be a problem in the next 2 months.
You know what? As long as she knows that you’re leaving soon, what’s the harm in it? It even kind of takes the pressure off and lets the two of you just have fun and enjoy each other, as long as all is above-board.
Of course, I’m clearly biased, as I had just such a short-term relationship this fall with a guy who we knew would have to move for his job. We crammed as much time together in as we could and he left with no hard feelings. We even kept in close contact for a while after that. It was good for me, and rather freeing and just what I needed at the time.
