There is NOTHING more annoying on this planet than a sreaming baby on a crowded airplane! Even more annoying is when the little bastards start kicking your seat for two hours, and the idiotic parent wont correct them.
I don’t hate kids. It’s just that if parents can’t control their little darlings, there’s certain situations where they cannot be in public until they learn to control themselves.
It’s easier to spread 'em then it is to raise 'em!
Anyone out there in favor of 14th trimester abortions?
Random story time, in response to ugly’s post: the first time I was on an airplane, I kept slamming the tray table up and down. (I am young! It was good entertainment!) Within minutes, both the guy in front of and my mother gave me such a look that I sat down and didn’t say a word the rest of the flight.
And to keep this semi-on-topic: I think most of the situations we’re describing are because the kids think/know they can get away with it. Canthearya, my parents were like yours: if I acted up, that was it for the rest of the day, and boy was I in trouble.
Well, airplanes, buses, and so forth have to be exceptions, at least for very young kids. There are sometimes no alternatives to travel, as there are with movies, and infants do cry despite the best efforts of the parents. It’s that “best efforts of the parents” that’s key, though.
Ironically, this very weekend I had an experience germaine to this thread. I was on my way to meet my girlfriend, lookin’ sharp, on the train, when a lady got on with her kid in tow and a HUGE bag. The kid was maybe three or four. She asks to take the seat next to me, and I graciously acquiesced and helped her put the cord of wood she was carrying in that bag into the overhead rack. the kid is well behaved for about two minutes.
I was eating a bag of Raisinets, though, my first food in twelve hours, and you can anticipate what happened (why couldn’t the mother?). The kid starts sticking his saliva-soaked hand into my face (literally) trying to get a Raisinet. Naturally, I gave him a few (heck, I like kids!), half of which he threw on the floor, the other half he stuck in his mouth. The mother smiled at me with that big horse-smile parents give, as if to say “yes, my little darling is just the most adorable angel you’ve ever seen, isn’t he?” For the record, he wasn’t.
Then the child takes a half-dissolved Raisinet out of his mouth and starts waving it wildly at me. Is he trying to give it back? He can’t want more, there’s still one in his hand. But I can see what’s coming, as I scrunch over as far as I can in my seat, and so can you. (Why can’t the mother?) Sure enough, junior smears a big brown stripe of chocolate down the front of my shirt while “mom” beams her equine smile at me. She doesn’t even bat an eye. Strangers obviously have no objection to such things when after all, it’s her little angel doing it. I was left with no choice. I drew my broadsword and chopped off her head.
No wait! That was just in my mind, sorry.
Then the coniption starts. Now, I may share some blame in this, with the few Raisinets I offered to the tyke. But it was dear old “mom” who whipped out a can of Coke - High Fructose Corn syrup and a dash of caffiene: just the thing to calm a child down for an hour and a half train ride. Young Damien was not having with this “nap” business- sounds like some kind of con to him. I moved two seats back.
The guy now in front of me (one seat behind Damien and Mrs.Ed) lasted about three minutes longer; when junior stuck his head up over the back of the seat and twisted his head around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, the gentlemen also beat a retreat.
Now, you can’t blame the kid, here. But the mother’s brain was just not lighting up to its full twenty watts. I can and do blame her.
But seriously, I have to agree with jophiel:
Absolutely. That’s why I’ve decided that from now on, when I feel a giant fart coming on, I’m just gonna let 'er rip. Think I give a rat’s ass what you think? If I did, I would have called you before I decided to eat that chili-tuna-and-curried-egg-salad Burrito Grande. There’s lots worse rudeness in the world being committed by other pople, so just deal with it! You have to, because I’ve decided you do.
You know, I used to believe in that “It takes a village” thing-- heck, that’s how it was when I was a kid, and thank G-d-- until one summer when I was about twenty-three.
I was sitting outside the Natural History Museum, waiting for a friend. Some little kid came hopping down the steps. Cute, about three and a half. He skips over the sidewalk, playing don’t-step-on-the-crack, or something. I am the only adult in sight. Suddenly, the kid notices a wad of used gum on the sidewalk, and picks it up. It’s about a half centimeter from his mouth, when I get to him. I grab his wrist, and say “Don’t eat that, it could make you sick. Yuck!” We traded a couple of “blech” faces, then I said “it’s not very nice that someone left it here on the sidewalk. Let’s help out and throw it away.” We start to walk to the trash can (about a yard away), when his mother swoops down, scoops him up, and says if I don’t unhand him, she’s going to call the police.
Next time he can choke on the damned gum. Serve her right.
–Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny
Heh… amusing, but not really what I meant. My point was that people are going to be rude. I’m not condoning it, but I’m not going to pretend I live in fantasy land either. Do you honestly think getting into a tizzy is going to make some mother suddenly take an active interest in what her child is doing? Not likely. More likely, she’ll turn on you. The best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation. Likewise, I can think ‘deal with it’ when I’m making an honest attempt to do what I can about the situation. If you don’t like it, tough. I’m so sorry my effort wasn’t good enough for you (not you, APB per se, but anyone who’s getting some higher-than-thou attitude). Society is a group of people and if you can’t accept that people, even when doing what they can, aren’t going to meet your expectations, then you’re going to have a hard time on this planet.
“I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”
I’m really sorry that happened to you APB but you certainly have a knack for telling a story. I feel kinda guilty at laughing at your story of misery but you were the one who had to make it funny
On another note: The idea that “some people are always going to be rude so get over it” doesn’t carry much weight with me. There are some things I’ve just accepted because I don’t think anything can be done about them but, if I DO think something can be done, I’ll bitch, moan, glare, ask someone to please get their child’s hands out of my hair at the movie theater, or whatever I can to get to my goal. I don’t think that trying to make a change means I’m living in a fantasy world. Hell, if that were the case, everyone should just give up. Tailgaters will be tailgaters, people who kick the back of your chair will be people who kick the back of your chair, spouse abusers will be spouse abusers, theives will be theives. Why try to change anything?
Sure there will always be rude people but there will be less of them if the pressure is on them to change. I think only a small portion of society truly doesn’t care what any members of their community think of them.
It seems that the big peeve for everyone here regarding the behavior of unruly children is the lack of reaction by the parent. I certainly don’t mind if parents bring their kids anywhere but at least be prepared to deal with them if they start to act up and do what’s necessary to preserve the atmosphere the other patrons came to enjoy.
RE: Breast feeding in public. It’s interesting the strong feelings people seem to have about it. A century ago or so, it was much more of an acceptable practise (in public). But maybe the women were more discreet then. I had a friend feed her baby at a wedding reception: she draped a blanket over her chest and the baby and then allowed the baby to nurse under the blanket. Very discreet, no one would have guessed what she was doing if they hadn’t been told.
Well, actually jophiel, if I came accross as higher-than-thou I MEANT to! So there! Other people have accused me of that in other places where I did not mean to be, so it’s nice to get in here in the BBQ pit where I can rant on from Mount Sinai in good conscience.
Really, though, I meant the whole thing to be rather humorous. I enjoy ranting, but I don’t take it seriously. Please don’t you, either. This whole thread is just one of those “farts” I was speaking of - uh, metaphorically, that is.
I do seem to have seen a lot of parents lately who seem to have no clue about the disruptions their kids cause or maybe they just don’t care, but I haven’t started carrying a broadsword yet!
I work in a restaurant. This is why I do not have children. They run and bump into servers; they make huge messes on the floor. Parents expect US to entertain and clean up after THEIR children. I somehow missed this part of the job description. Just a thought–if you want to have a quick dinner with your ill-behaved monsters, don not eat out at prime time on Friday night.
IMHO- breastfeeding in public makes people uncomfortable, and doing things in public that make others uncomfortable is RUDE! whether its beastfeeding, necking, fighting with your mate, scratching your crotch -whatever!
I have two children and 16 months total breastfeeding time under my bra and no one ever was made to feel ucky over it.
Now in (grown up)movies, or fancy restaurants, unless you want to pay the $$ for all those you annoy, get a sitter, it is just the polite thing to go.
The next time you are in a doctors office or on a bus or plane with the ‘low class’-(said snottily)mother with the misbehaving kids or the overwhelmed mother who’s kid is screaming -whatever, take a minute out of your pompous self-important,self-absorbed lives to ask if you can do anything to HELP.
Gees is it so hard to speak kindly to a child who is probably just loney/lonely/tired?
Just say hi to the kid or ask them about their toy or anything, when a stranger speaks to a young child they are usually very quiet for a long time.Just don’t be weirdo/friendly or scary about it or you could get in trouble
this is what I do to better humanity at the grocery store , I just say HI to the screaming child trapped in line with its exhausted parent, and EVERY TIME, the kid shuts up, the parent gets a brief breather, and we all get a break.Try it - it beats the hell outta complainin’.
Wow, same EXACT thing happened to me at “The Phantom Menace”. Except this time the movies was at 7 pm. Now, i have no problems with parents bringing children to movies, but it started when children under 6 should be in bed (My parents mad us go to bed around 8). The woman who brought her kid to the Phantom menace did absolutely nothing to keep this kid from running up and down the aisles of the theater. She also didnt really apologize to the people the kid ran into. Also it was bad because “The Phantom Menace” is NOT a movie you should be bringing small children to.
One thing i cannot stand are large noisy groups of teenagers. At the same movie, a group of teen girls had sat on the side row of seats, and was being loud and noisy. THe worst part was one whips out her cell phone in the middle of the movie and commences talking on it. It also had a bright lit up face to it so that i could see the damn thing out of the corner of my eye.
Children who start crying in restaurants doesnt bug me too much because usually the parents do something about it, but what i cannot stand is when children start throwing temper tantrums, or start running around the table and start “playing”.
FTR, I have no problem with mothers breastfeeding their infants in public. The kid’s gotta eat, right? Sure, some discretion is called for in certain circumstances, but most of the problem here is modern hangups about sex.
While I believe that many overreact to small children making sounds in public places (generally because they dislike children as much or more than they dislike the disturbance), parents do have a responisbility to keep the little ones in order. Those who have complained about little kids in expensive restaurants or adult movies have a point. Some parents need to think a little more clearly.
But the bigger problem with Phil’s theatre complaints deal more with rude adults. Doesn’t anyone have a sense of ettiquette in a movie theater anymore? And how about at a play?
My biggest gripe is at a concert. Not a rock show, but other kinds of music. I can’t tell you the times I’ve been to see the community symphony or a high school band concert, and people seem to have the concept that you can talk right through the performance in a loud voice, or hoot and holler at their child on stage. Even at a jazz concert, where the audience is expected to cheer, and particularly to applaud after a solo, there is still an incessant amount of chatter (especially during a quieter piece). When will people learn that a public concert is not the same as watching it on t.v. in your living room? When will parents at school music recitals and concerts learn to distinguish between applauding the Choir’s performance and cheering at a football game?
No wonder my friends from Europe view our society as “barbaric.”
SoxFan59
“Its fiction, but all the facts are true!”
I don’t personally find breast feeding offensive, but some people do. THEREFORE, general consideration of others suggests that being at least a little subtle about it is in order.
And be polite now; don’t breast feed blatantly in public unless you brought enough for everyone. Watching someone else eat when you’re really hungry can be quite frustrating, but boy, you should see the looks you get when you try to join in. How rude.
Anyone who finds breast feeding offensive is beneath consideration. Farting is offensive. Picking your nose is offensive. Burping is offensive. Shitting and peeing are offensive. Cleaning the jam from between your toes is offensive. Scratching deep in your crotch or the crack of your ass is offensive. Not bathing is offenisve. Popping pimples is offensive.
Breastfeeding is a kid getting a meal in the way nature intended. Screw anyone who doesn’t like it.
Newsflash: Burping, peeing, shitting, not bathing. These things are all “the way nature intended.” Society, however, is not natural. There are reasons for that into which I will not go at this point in time.
Some people find breast feeding in public offensive because they do not know where to put their eyes. There is distraction towards the general breast area (for some people even when breast feeding is not taking place). Movement attracts the eye as well as cute little babies. However, despite the fact that it is “natural,” many people consider the act of staring at breasts inappropriate.
I have to say that Maitlandish has some really good points.
Burping and farting are very natural and often urgently needed. No, they don’t sustain a life but that doesn’t make them less natural. The other stuff you mentioned are either unneeded (you don’t HAVE to mess with your pimples) or can be delayed until in private. Breastfeeding, most times, can be delayed until one is in private or breast pumps can be used or it can be done discreetly.
Having sex is quite natural but most people would agree that doing it in public is rude. Some people enjoy seeing it done in public but that’s a whole different thread ;). No, it doesn’t sustain a life but it may create one ;).
Our culture is highly sexualized and sex is used to sell damn near everything but our culture is also quite puritanical. Makes for a confused, anxious, and sexually-neurotic group of people. I can understand how people would be flustered and uncomfortable seeing a woman whip out a breast in public. It may be their own problem but they’re just representing where they grew up :).
A friend of mine was once an exchange student in Japan. He said that while driving with some other (Japanese) students, he saw a man urinating at the side of the road in plain view. Laughing and pointing he turned to share in the fun with his classmates. His classmates told him very seriously that in Japan it is considured rude to look.
“If you stick your finger in a pie, whatever is in the pie will be on your finger, and whatever is on your finger will be in the pie…unless you wear a rubber glove”----some demented old lady
Ok, as a brand new (6/27!) mommy, I must respond. (try to make this brief- Chris may wake up soon!)
First, I agree that it’s totally unacceptable to bring infants into nice restaurants and movie theatres, unless, like Melin, you are taking your older kids to Tarzan or another rated G film. If you want to see this sort of movie in a quiet theater, go to the past 9 pm show, when kids should be in bed anyways.
I do take offense at the breast-feeding stance, though. If the woman does it discreetly, with nothing exposed, there should be no problem. Breasts exist for this function! Someone once said that breasts are like toy train sets, that they’re meant for kids but daddies enjoy them too. That said, a woman who is breast-feeding, even without a shawl (assuming the non-working side is covered) has more of her breast covered than most women in swimwear at the beach. (Especially in CA- the stuff I saw women out there wearing at the beach might be illegal here in NE… )
Pumping would seem to be the ideal situation, but it isn’t always. The infant is FAR more effective at getting the milk out than a pump, and physicians do not recommend pumping to replace actual breastfeeding in the first weeks because it can screw up your milk supply. This is because the more you breastfeed, the more milk is produced, and vice versa. If you replace feeds with pumpings too often the supply diminishes.
Earlier today I had to feed my son at the pediatrician’s. I tried to get him to eat before we left the house but he would have none of it. I put a receiving blanket over my shoulder to cover up while I nursed, and got nothing but warm smiles from everyone in the waiting room. (And disbelieving looks about his age- he was 11 lbs 6 ozs at birth a couple weeks ago!)
PR Mom
If you’re not part of the solution you’re just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.
Other people have accused me of that in other places where I did not mean to be, so it’s nice to get in here in the BBQ pit where I can rant on from Mount Sinai in good conscience.
and no one ever was made to feel ucky over it.