Squid, I can confirm what your friend saw in Japan. We used to think that was a laugh-riot too.
…it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can’t cure.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court-Mark Twain
Just keeping everyone up to speed: This weekend my wife and I went to the movies twice.
At the first, “Eyes Wide Shut,” one person received 5 phone calls during the movie; and in each case, rather than answering the phone on the first ring so as not to disturb other moviegoers, he let it ring 5 or 6 times. Three other people talked, full voice, to the screen at various points. One couple held a rather loud converstaion about two rows behind us, totally unrelated to the movie.
At the other, “SW:TPM,” a father and son sat right in front of us and talked through the entire movie. And this child was not a toddler–he was about 6 or 7 years old. Despite the fact that we asked them politely to be quiet twice, they continued to talk.
But guys like Chip think I’m the jerk for asking that people act responsibly in public, and that people like this have no business going to movies if they can’t conduct themselves properly.
that is what I mean…you made * nobody* uncomfortable, so it was not rude, I personally dont find the sight of a woman, covered or not, nursing to be unpleasant, but many people are freaked out by the sight-uncovered- and it is probably people who didnt or werent nursed, once they all die out, it wont be a problem anymore. 
Phil:
Usually when that happens, I go find an usher. Somehow, having an “authority figure” tell people to stop what they’re doing works better than doing it myself. And if the problem’s not fixed by the end of the movie, you can complain to management and get free tickets from them. I will often do this for the groups of teenagers or the cell-phone morons (I won’t do it for a pager, though, on the off chance that the person may be a doctor), and I ALWAYS do it to those idiots who bring laser pointers. That episode of Seinfeld wasn’t even that funny.
I can assure you that the behavior you describe is not uniquely American.
<<<<I can assure you that the behavior you describe is not uniquely American>>>>
But I betcha we’ve cornered the market on it, fer sure.
SoxFan59
“Its fiction, but all the facts are true!”
[[I will often do this for the groups of teenagers or the cell-phone morons (I won’t do it for a pager, though, on the off chance that the person may be a doctor), and I ALWAYS do it to those idiots who bring laser pointers. That episode of Seinfeld wasn’t even that funny.]]
I’m not a doctor, but one week out of five or six, I carry a pager (it’s sitting on top of the computer right now). The agency I work for supports disabled people so they can live in the community, and sometimes they have emergencies-- some of them have seizure disorders or hard-to-control diabetes. Most of them have staff for personal assistance-- when a PA has a flat tire on the way to a shift, someone has to cover until the PA can arrive.
Sometimes they page me because they just need reassurance.
When I carry the pager, I don’t go to the movies.
–Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny
Whoa!!! lots of attitude here!
Rebecca( keep up the search…I can’t help but a have an ear if you want one…been there), Falcon, CKDext…Bravo!!
Rowan…I’m sorry that happened to you…I DO believe in “the village” and act on it…I think, unfortunatly, that it is a bias against men, that made that happen. Too bad there are so many sick twists out their spoiling it for the majority.
Melin–thanks for making the point about the housing in Ca. in the 80’s…clearly, it didn’t sink in since no one acknowledged it. Point being…you folks are talking about discrimination here. Be very, very, careful…someone might decide (like me!!!)that people who scream and cuss and think it’s funny should be banned from “disposable income” places. How about people who “don’t hate kids or any thing” but in the next breath call them “little bastards” or compare a crying child to a “giant fart”? Or how about those parents we all love who scream and swear at their children, or, as some of you have mentioned, those very entertaining people that talk to loudly at the movie and to each other. I LOVE to go anywhere and get to here the ringing of a telephone. (Do ya think I might be at the movies to escape reality for just 2 hours?)If it is so critical to speak to someone at that moment…get a pager. (I’m not sure why these bother anyone…don’t most of them just vibrate or hum?) And I love going to a nice restaurant, (as well as McD’s) and have young adults cussing and pushing and generally being loud enough to enchant the entire place. (pardon me…I know not all young people and I know not only young people…this is USUALLY who is guilty) I could go on and on with the things that offend, interrupt and anger me in public places. Personally, it has always been my belief that these people do these things because no one ever taught them that it was offensive and rude. We don’t need to BAN anyone from anywhere. We need to ALL become more responsible.
My boys are 21 and 23. I took parenthood seriously. I was fortunate enough to have a working husband. (WE opted for me to give up my sales job for my parenting job)That meant, we both had to give up lots of “goodies” because we couldn’t afford to continue to live like 2 people anymore (or, for that matter, 1 single person). It was a chosen SACRIFICE, along with everything else. We CHOSE to actually raise and teach our children. I used the “steps” that someone mentioned earlier, gradually working my kids up to fine dining, etc. Did I say gradually? When they were 8 and 9 their grandparents visited Ca. for the 1st time. We went to Alioto’s on the wharf. (In San Francisco). Grandpa was treating so he told the boys to order anything they wanted. My 8 year old ordered lobster and my 9 year old ordered thresher shark. The waiter burst into laughter, immediately announced it to all neighboring tables, who also joined the laughter. My children were given many “atta boys”, head taps, smiles and 1 table even bought them sodas (with my permission). What’s this? A moment of shared joy, in a nice restaurant, among 15 - 20 total strangers? And it was prompted by CHILDREN? Now I know what you’re going to say…you’re talking about the little messy, screamy, yucky ones (although, trust me, there’s not much yuckier than a 9 year old boy!) How do you suppose two boys, at this tender age, found themselves in this situation? IT WASN’T THEIR FIRST TRIP, BY A LONG SHOT!!
My explanation? I took parenting responsibly and seriously, and I was consistent. When my boys were 1 and 2 and 3, etc. and they misbehaved, at home, in public or at Grandma’s house…they were corrected. Be it their 1st tantrum or they’re 30th (in reality we didn’t do tantrums for very long…don’t letem win mom’s…it works) the punishment was the same…even if it was the 30th time in 2 hours.
Children are a gift( as well as EVERYONES future), unfortunately, perhaps some of were not appreciated when you were their, cuz kids sure seem to get u goin’. We need to get back some compassion, sense of community and just plain common sense.
P.S. I have been in plenty of situations (McD’s, Chuck E. Cheese, movies, etc.) where my young children have been scared into crying, by some big person (you pick…15-50) being extremely loud, roughhousing, cussing…or, my favorite, getting in some other parents face and, very angrly demanding that they “Shut that kid the f…up”, or some variation thereof. You intolerant, dispassionate, so on the edge, people make me want to cry and scream and tantrum uncontrollably. Of course, I don’t, because, you have your rights.
Rowan
I was referring to your earlier post about the child with the chewing gum…sorry for confusion
[[Rowan…I’m sorry that happened to you…I DO believe in “the village” and act on it…I think, unfortunatly, that it is a bias against men, that made that happen. Too bad there are so many sick twists out their spoiling it for the majority.]]
Yeah, I got what you were referring to. I should also let you know, for your consideration, that I am a chick.
–Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny
Rowan
OOPS!! That’s what I get for ass-u-me-ing. My apologies. I’m still sorry that happened to you…I have, on occasion, received the fearful looks and quick protection…understandable, but also, so sad.
“Man, the 60’s must have been real good for you!”
George Carlin…“Outrageous Fortune”
“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore”
Dorothy…“The Wizard of Oz”
Well gosh, thanks for telling me how to raise my child! In bed by 8, you say? :::wetting pencil::: Ok, so 9 hours later… that’s… up at 5am? Great. That is about the time I’m going to bed. Not everyone lives on your happy day schedule, you know. My son goes to school 2 days a week, before you jump on the “he won’t be able to adapt!” thing, and he does just FINE getting up for school at 7am.
Now about the Phantom Menace… my son is 3 1/2 years old. We’ve taken him to see TPM 3 times. He loved it. He didn’t run up and down the aisles (do kids actually DO that?? I’ve never seen it but I’ll take your word) nor did he talk or scream or cry. A few times he whispered to me to let me know who the “bad guys” were, but he was very quiet.
We also take him to restaurants, and have since he was tiny. On the VERY few occassions when he got upset, one of us would take him outside or into the restroom til he calmed down. My son has NEVER run around in a restaurant, nor grabbed food, nor thrown food etc. The worst thing he does is say “hi, I’m Nicky. That’s my mommy, and that’s my daddy” to the people sitting at the next table. We tell him to turn around and he does and everything is fine.
I don’t agree that people should let their children terrorize public places, but to say that people shouldn’t bring their kids at all is a bit harsh. Yes, Nicky is my little darling, but he has also never done the things that you people seem to think are inevitable.
>^,^<
“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
OpalCat’s site: http://fathom.org/opalcat
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions
incidentally, the first time we took Nicky to see Star Wars, we took him to a matinee. After that, and we knew he could deal with it, and that it wasn’t too loud or too scary, we took him to evening shows.
>^,^<
“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
OpalCat’s site: http://fathom.org/opalcat
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions
OpalCat, you happen to be a good mother with a well-behaved child. But surely you can appreciate how infuriating it is to be seated near inconsiderate parents of hellish children? I was at a nice (-ish) restaurant last month and both children of a nearby couple shrieked throughout the meal. Neither parent did anything to shut the brats up, and the management did not request the children be taken outside for a Time Out, in respect to the other 100-something patrons. I managed to get through the meal without drop-kicking either child, but you can bet I will never go back to that place again.
So yes, if you have well-mannered children, take 'em anywhere, or have the grace to scoot off with them, if need be. But DON’T impose a shrieking, out-of-control brat on the general populace!
Reread my last paragraph-the one where I agreed with you? My point was that saying that all parents should keep all children away from theaters and restaurants was taking things too far, when it is just parents who don’t control their children, or who have ill behaved children who should keep their children home.
>^,^<
“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
OpalCat’s site: http://fathom.org/opalcat
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions
The only time I can recall actually getting pissed off at a fellow movie-goer was at Independence Day. The man behind us had to let everyone know how smart and culturally aware he was by pointing out every famous person on the screen and what they’d last starred in. Umm… duh? Ok, the only time I appreciated his “assistance” was when Brent Spiner appeared on the screen, and I knew he looked familiar but couldn’t place him. However, the auditorium was soon buzzing with, “Data! That’s Data!” so he wasn’t that much help 
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
As a parent and a movie-a-holic, when my son was born, I knew my days of seeing flicks in the cinema were pretty much over. We still go, though not as often as the once a week treat that we use to, but I will never drag my son to a non-child related film. In fact, I cringe taking him to a Disney-esque flick until well after 7 or 8 because of how other kids misbehave in the show.
I use to work by a dollar theater and hit it after work. Some times three movies a night. The midnight movie always was packed with families and kids. Just stay the hell home and wait for the damn video.
As for restaurants, if a child has a melt down or unruly behavior, the annoying child should be taken from the place (the the car or outside) until they calm down. If they don’t, the family eats with out them and the other parent gets a doggy bag. Sorry, but when you have kids, it can be a bitch to finish a meal.
I grew up with a large family. My mom, Aunt and Uncle would treat all of their combined 11 children ( Can you say Catholic?) out to a restaurant. We were never unruly and never running around. Even after a couple Shirley Temples we were never hooligans. We were simply raised that in public we must behave ourselves. At home we could cut loose (more or less.) When we were littler, we were given our own booth at restaurants and if we misbehaved, an adult sat with us the rest of a meal as punishment. And if it was my Mother, godforbid, it was a hellish meal of silence and no elbows on the table.
As for planes, I once voluntarily gave up my seat in the back of a plane so a suffering businessman did not have to sit next to a screaming infant for an 8 hour international flight back home. The child cried the entire time. Not entirely because of the altitude, but because it was a Romanian orphan being taken back to the US for adoption. Can you imagine the seperation anxiety this child was going through? I knew what I was getting into ( the child was very dark complexion and dark hair and eyes and the woman was paler than Gwyeth Paltrow. I actually won a bet with my hubby that the baby was a future adoptee.) You know what, I didn’t mind. I can tune out a screaming infant in a situation like that. Some people can’t.
Infants and toddlers will cry on a plane because it’s scary and the pressure. Nursing and bottles and medication will help during this time. My pediatrician medicates all his kids for flights. It’s the older kids that should be put in dog cages in cargo. You know the ones that run amok for the entire flight. I don’t mind and completely understand a child needing to stretch their legs, but for an entire flight running up and down the aisle, disrupting service and the peace is grounds for walking the plank, in my opinion.
I was on another 8 hour flight back to Detroit and there were over 20 unaccompanied minors on board acting like ferrets on crack. The airline crew could not kept them under control and after being jostled and hit by a running midget terrorist for three hours, I rose from my seat and went for the biggest kid of the bunch. I calmly stated that it was her job to keep the rest of the kids in line ( they were all military brats and all knew each other) and to keep them in their seats for the rest of the flight or the police would arrest them the moment we landed. You know what, they were 1000 % better after that.
I apologize for the length, but this is a subject that touches us all. I’ve personally found that if a child is truly being a total snip in public and the parent is either wimping out or giving weak-ass threats, by getting down on a knee and talking to the kid in a nice voice and talk about a “situation just like this” when " I was a little bit younger than you" and “how my parents took me out of the store/restaurant/whatever” because “that kind of behavior was not allowed.” and " boy, I was embarrassed and I never did it again." If any thing, it shuts the offender up for a moment. I’ve never had a parent yell at me either. ( FTR, my mom says I never pitched fits in public places or caused problems. What I did do that caused her to call the cops in several times was disappear without a sound in stores. One minute I would be there, the next second POOF, I was gone. Half the time she found me sitting on the mechanical pony waiting for a penny or playing under a rack of clothes. Once in Mexico they lost me for 3 hours. If it had been the 90’s, I’m sure my face would grace the back of a milk box for sure.)
Looks like I killed another thread through my ramblings.
HOWEVER, I’d like to add something, if you eat out or attend a movie and notice that a child is well behaved, compliment the child and the parents. The kid won’t care but the exhausted parents will be grateful.
People change not because they see the light but because they feel the heat.
Arrrrgh!!! I just had the worst experience at the theatre last night! My husband and I went to see a movie last night, and there were three infants in the theatre. My husband and I haven’t been out since our son was born (7 weeks ago) and my mom wanted to babysit. Guess these jerks either weren’t lucky enough to have a nearby relative, or just too damn lazy to find a sitter.
Then there was the toddler behind me. Yelling, running up and down the aisles, all the while her dipshit parents are acting like they don’t know her. The kid even climbed into my lap and ate my popcorn for gosh’s sake!!! (I allowed it only because it shut the kid up and it kept me from eating too much popcorn.) I blew up at the parents when the little monster began running down the aisles barking. I think I really have to draw the line at goddamn barking, right? The parents looked told me to relax and and asked me if I had kids. When I said yes, they told me this is what I had to expect later on!!!
I told them in no uncertain terms that my kidn wouldn’t be doing that since I’m polite enough to leave him at home (even if it means seeing two movies a year). I then got the manager and he asked them to leave.
The problem is, I missed most of the movie due to this whole mess, and heaven knows when I’ll be able to see it now. I’ll probably just wait for it to come out onto video.
Prairie (people are such fucking jerks) Rose
If you’re not part of the solution you’re just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.
I think there’s a significant difference between parents who make an effort (train their children, apologise, take them out etc.) and those who don’t.
Once I took my nephews to the cinema and we got there early - the place is empty. They asked if they could run up and down the aisles till the next person arrived. Sure! Then they sat thru the whole performance like angels.
I take kids on School trips. I explain about manners and social behaviour. They know that I will give one warning only, then call their parents, and arrange for the kid to go home.
Children need to know the rules and why they exist. Ask them ‘how would you like it if someone else did that to you?’
And I really enjoy an adult muttering thanks to me because the kids I’m responsible for behaved well.
There’s a thought - parents are responsible for their kids!