My Hokkaido Guy is very, very shy.
I met him at church along with hundreds of new people when I arrived in Japan. Was told his name but forgot it promptly as I was suffering from “weird name overload” at the time. I referred to him in my head as “The Dark Man”, and distinctly remember thinking on being introducted to him “I wouldn’t like to meet him on a dark night.” (He is small, and powerful and square with a monobrow!)
After seeing him once a week for nearly a year, and having very short conversations with him, I gradually began to notice that whenever there was something going on, he was involved, usually on the edges but in some very useful capacity, like driving, taking photographs, or carrying stuff. He never complained (never talked, actually!) but when he did talk, he laughed and was pleasant. Kids and dogs went to him and he was nice with them. He was the first one there and the last one to leave, helping to set up and dismantle whatever we’d been doing. He was very honest.
He was passed over by the Japanese girls because he is short, has a horrible job with low pay and long hours, and he is shy (and not the best looking person in the world, but neither am I.)
They missed an intelligent, sensitive, honourable, sexy FRIEND. And I am eternally grateful that they did.
How did we get together? Having realised just how nice he was, I did a bit of gentle chasing by inviting him to do things with me and just a couple of friends at a time. Had friends in the know invite him to other small group things that I was also invited to. Eventually (it took 5 months!) he invited me on the last bike ride of the year with his mates. None of the “mates” turned up so it was just me and him and a Kawasaki 750 tourer. I spent the whole of that day trying to resist kissing the back of his neck where it stuck out of the helmet. I thought if I did he would certainly crash!
From there we went out together as a pair a few times, and one day we kissed, and he said, “Do you want to get married?” It was not a proposal, more checking whether I was out for a bit of fun before leaving Japan, or if I was serious. I was serious, and here we are ten years and two kids later. And there is not a day goes by when I am not grateful that I have him, despite never seeing him due to his crazy work, and fairly major communication hassles at times due to our differing characters.
So, this long-winded message is to say that if you are an honest, pleasant, untwisted guy, believe me there are women out there who will notice you and snap you up!