To put this in job-hunting terms, you’ve passed the phone screen with Lady #2, but you haven’t had a face to face interview, much less an offer.
So don’t cancel your interview with Lady #1 just yet. I mean, cancel it if you’re sure you’re not interested. Just don’t cancel it because of Lady #2. If Lady #2 didn’t exist, would you cancel on Lady #1?
Don’t be so sure. Some people click with everyone they first meet/speak with. Are you absolutely convinced Lady#2 is all that into you that you can afford to limit your options before even meeting her? It’s not entirely unheard of that people aren’t always very honest with who they really are in online dating. What if she has a conjoined twin she hasn’t bothered mentioning yet? Even if you’re right and you’re about to meet the love of your life, go on the date with Lady#1. It’s good practice for someone not entirely comfortable with the dating scene.
Okay, I guess I’ll just say it: I was willing to look passed the lack of stimulating conversation and our lack of common interests because, well she’s pretty. I have no idea why she continued to communicate with me, I doubt the convo was very stimulating for her either. That, and I’m no Brad Pit myself. IDK, maybe it was because I was nice to her? And didn’t try to sexualize the conversation? I can only guess.
But on my end, I should know better than to pursue someone because I think they’re pretty. So yeah, I’m not particularly proud of that. (To answer your question: Yes, I probably would have. I doubt there would have been a second date though)
Good man. You’ll never regret being a decent person and taking the high road.
I’ve just held the hands of too many friends who suffered the potential fate of Lady #1: “Why didn’t s/he call me? Couldn’t s/he just have said s/he wasn’t interested? Was it that hard to just tell me to not waste my time waiting for a call or a message?”
And invariably followed by, “What a bitch/dick.”
Oh, so pretty isn’t good enough for you?! You have to have sparkling conversation too??
It’s people like you…
Go on the date and learn to deal with your self-esteem issues.
Can you elaborate on this please? Woosh?
Hint: Chicks who’ve been around a bit tend to care less about whether or not you look like Mr. Pitt than if you know how to operate a washing machine, cook a little bit, shut up and listen, etc. My wife is hawt enough to be picky, yet she picked me–I guarandamntee you it’s not because I’m a youthful, well-toned hunka confidence-exuding manflesh. (like, because I’m totally not.)
Read it using John Cleese voice. 
Okay, good point. Thanks.
I wouldn’t go if you’re going to show up with the thought of “I’m only here to be polite, and I’d much rather be with woman 2,” because how likely are you to click under those circumstances? You’d might as well not waste everyone’s time. You’ve been talking for five days. You’re not obligated to show up, just to politely cancel if you’re not interested.
It is not at all uncommon to feel you have a great rapport with someone you haven’t met, and then you meet them and it just doesn’t click.
OTOH maybe your #1 doesn’t come across well on the phone. You never know.
But to answer your question, if you aren’t going to meet the first lady just tell her you’re sorry but you met someone else. These things happen and if you’re “meh” about it she probably is too.
Well, I needed to make a decision by 4:30 (when she gets off work).
Just texted her, apologized profusely, and her response was…
“OK”
Lol. No love lost there I guess.
Dude.
Well honestly, even if she was extremely disappointed, what would you have her say?
I think “ok” is the exact right response no matter what…
“I know where you live”, would make for a better story.
Point.
So you’re disappointed she wasn’t more disappointed that you didn’t want to meet her?
I read it more as relief in having dodged a mutually-wasted time.
Battle-scarred online dating veteran here. In the moment: it’s surprising how much it stings, to be infatuated with someone just on the basis of text exchanges only to have that person give you the “no sparks” response to your first meeting. Ouch. In hindsight: if all you’ve had are text messages and a cup-of-coffee meet-n’-greet, you don’t owe him/her anything other than common courtesy and civility. That includes keeping commitments and not being a dick.
(8 years ago I was recently widowed and back in the dating pool for the first time in 28 years. It was wild…I could write a book. And amazing how much it felt like junior high, in a middle-aged body. But 10 months later I met my wife, and we’re coming up on our 5th wedding anniversary.)
Good god no. I LOL’ed because I built this thing up in my head for no reason apparently. I’m RELIEVED she didn’t get upset. I feel much better now.