I’ve posted a couple threads about my re-entry into the dating world which can be read here and here.
A quick recap: We went on a couple dates and they went well. After one of these a guy she has known for a long time told her that he likes her. She has liked him for a while so she said she just wants to be friends. We went out again for lunch and while we were out she was acting like more than a friend, holding hands, putting her arm around me, etc.
The woman is coming over for dinner in about two hours and I’ll get to ask where we are at. It should be interesting. I’ll post an update after. I made dinner and it is going to rock. So at least I’ll get a good meal out of this…
Actually, I am not sure what I am going to say but it depends on what happens. If she does the friend thing then I’ll just go with that. If, on the other hand, we do more than that I’ll have a talk with her and I *will not * ask ‘Where are we at?’. Well, maybe we’ll have the talk. I don’t know. I guess I will just see what happens.
Ummmm… no. Think ya projected a bit too much there, ace.
What it means is that if a woman comes over to his house and eats a dinner that he prepared, all signs point to the physical act of love.
If there is no physical act of love, it will be for one of three reasons:
She didn’t want to sleep with him. So then why cook dinner for her again? She’ll not sleep with him on an empty stomach just as quickly as she’ll not sleep with him on an empty, so why go through the effort when you can dutch some takeout?
She did want to sleep with him and he screwed it up (perhaps by having the “where are we?” talk). In that case, don’t cook dinner for her again. If you strike out playing T-ball, then it’s time to find another sport.
She did want to sleep with him and he decided he didn’t want to any more. Then why cook another dinner for her? Who’s going to be friends with someone who dates them as a backup plan and then drops them when her A-choice decides she’s worth a shot? I wouldn’t give someone like that a ride downtown.
Oh, is that what it means? Sheesh, that is totally not my experience. Some guys will cook dinner at home as an alternative to the dinner date thing. Some women will do the same. “Physical act of love” was never attempted on the first of these kinds of dates… for me at least.
Ya know, Happy Scrappy, I was going to make a similar post to yours because I understood you just fine but then I figured that it would be falling on deaf ears.
Well, post dinner update. It wasn’t a date. It was friends. Which kind of bums me out because everytime I see the woman I like her more.
Oh well. On to other women.
About the sleeping together thing, it wasn’t likely to happen in any case because she had to pick up her daughter from the babysitter. I knew this ahead of time. I was hoping for a little more but it ain’t gonna happen.
Sorry to hear it didn’t turn out the way you hoped. I’ve had dudes give me the “friends” treatment. Even though it stung to hear it, I guess it’s better than staying in limbo. Hopefully the next gal will turn out to be the right one.
Really? Hmm. It sure doesn’t seem like I projected much; your explanations below make that pretty clear.
Maybe in your neck of the woods, ace, but not in any I’ve lived in. It indicates potential interest and a little bit of trust, that’s all.
And I would hazard a guess that making this assumption would land you firmly in the pig category with most women I know. This is right up there with the “I bought that bitch a lobster dinner and all I got was a lousy kiss?!?” attitude.
… so he screws up once, don’t bother trying to fix it? That’s rather self-defeating, isn’t it? Everyone makes mistakes. You can recover from them.
Well, I would, for one. I’ve had more female friends than male my entire life, and (during my unattached years) it made for lots of interesting experiences that would not have happened had I held the attitude you espouse here.
At any rate, it’s the attitude – that she ‘owes’ you sex and if she doesn’t pay up, dump her – that gets on my nerves.
I disagee with the others. First dates are the perfect time to ask about long range intentions and get the pre-nup out of the way. If you wait until you know someone, then it seems like a comment on their character.
