The fact that he has an “ex-mother in kaw” demonstrates that he’s secretly a member of a birdlike alien species. It’s probably the Kenku, a shifty, warlike people who work in groups to rob innocent citizens. This is a rare slip-up, and if I were you I’d count my lucky stars and get out before he had the chance to turn into Kenku form and summon help.
I don’t think we know nearly enough to be making assumptions. We know you had fun, we know he said he did. We know that his mother and MIL are both sick. Beyond that, we don’t know enough to judge his motives.
Take him at his word. Understand that he feels he is having some difficult times. See how things progress.
The few things I regret in life revolve around not finding out if something coulda been a good thing because I was too concerned with not wanting to be hurt.
Oh dear. The last time we had this thread it trainwrecked on for, what? Six pages? I’m not going to do it again.
I will say that the stuff I’m reading does not urge you to be who you are not. Not only is it dishonest, but people will usually see right through it. It just doesn’t work. What they actually urge is not just to be yourself, but be more of yourself than you currently reveal. Put your best foot forward and all of that.
One thing I was watching was not so much about how to meet women, but to grow up and be a better person. Around here we call that manning up, or refusing to be a doormat, or not letting assholes live in your head rent-free. It’s really solid stuff, and I think not just for single men. This should be required viewing for every person alive.
fetus, you ever done it with a Kenku? It’s like once you go there, there’s no turning back. Humans are just meh after that.
But be prepared to spend a fortune on ointment.
Yeah, I didn’t intend to start a trainwreck. Just sayin’- don’t any of you think it may be true that most men would rather be the pursuer? I’ve found it to be true in my own experience. Sure, some men will be flattered at first, but deep down I don’t think many of them want to be chased.
shrug
I don’t see sending a friendly “had a good time” thank-you email the morning after a date I enjoyed as exactly being a relentless pursuit.
ETA: And if he does, there’s a serious mismatch there that we’re better off discovering off the bat.
Me neither, so apologies all around.
I don’t know about “most men” or “most women” or what they like. And I don’t care. When I’m interested in someone, I care about what *he * likes and what I like, and whether those things are compatible.
I’ve also never thought of dating in terms of “pursuer” and “pursued”. If you’re not moving toward each other, then at least one of you is insufficiently interested, and you should probably both look elsewhere.
IMO, nobody likes to be “chased”, since that implies that they’re running away from someone who won’t leave them alone.
It don’t have to be about “the manly thing.”
A guy can send roses to his date the next day without having to call or email.
He doesn’t even have to be creative enough to think of a “dynamite” card to include with them. A simple “Thanks for the lovely evening” would be enough.
…actually, the roses would be enough…IMHO, thinking back to my dating days.
And I just have to ask this: Doesn’t the dude have ANY idea of just what extreme quality he’s been privileged to spend part of an evening with? Damn, people.
No apologies are necessary from anyone. It’s just that we had a HUGE thread on this and I don’t have the stomach for it. Of course, I could just leave the thread.
But I’ve just been reading some stuff about who does the chasing. A good pickup artist can get a woman to chase him and chase him and chase him until finally he gets her. There’s some really deep analysis of this. But I think what it looks like to most people is that there are mutual chases and backing off, chase and back off, from both parties. It’s like a weird little dance. Show a little interest but not too much, then let the other person take a turn.
I’d bet that people who have excellent social skills do this in exactly the right way but are totally unaware that they are doing it. They just do what “feels right.”
The result of one person doing all the persuing and the other doing all the resisting is really nothing more than predatory. Love doesn’t result, restraining orders do.
Isn’t that what this thread is about? Not only was the guy priviledged to an evening with an extraordinary woman, but a Doper!
I think you’re onto something here. Really, an evening with one of us is an evening with all of us.
. . .so if he doesn’t call back, I’ve been rejected without ever having gone on a date! :eek:
Well, that’s efficient, whatever else it is.
Whatever you do, twickster, do NOT say, “when you go out with me, you go out with all my invisible friends too”.
On the upside, I’m headed out for the evening, so I’ve got good news… we’re all getting laid tonight!!!
Could you wrap things up by midnight then? I have to get up early in the morning tomorrow. Thanks!
I don’t know. Some people might find this intriguing.
GT
I’m not saying I was conniving about it, but that method always worked for me. I was well into my 20’s before I realized that women found me a attractive and my, perceived, indifference made me a challenge to them. I learned it by accident, but you go w/ what works. The last occasion was a few years ago, when I was well past 60.
Yes. Next time you come to Chicago–I’ll be sure not to be your invisible friend!
Eh-I’m neutral to negative on this email. I’d probably give him the benefit of the doubt, but not wait at home for him to call etc.
Make sure you use lube this time. I’m still bleeding from the last one.
About my date last night.
She was fucking insatiable…man oh man what a night it really was.
A few drinks, a lovely meal and back to my place for…erm…coffee.
After about 20 minutes or so she stood up, took all her clothes off and pounced on me screaming “take me now, big boy” “make me have it, hard and powerful”
I took her, frequently, but after a couple of hours I was exhausted and had to beg for respite.
actually this is a load of bollocks, the date was an unmitigated disaster, she ate like a starving animal, and downed pints of Guinness like fucking water
Two early AM asides.
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If a guy is a little bit threatened by a woman writing him an e-mail 24 hours after a date (Gasp! Clingy!), then he should probably not be dating women at all but perhaps furniture or office equipment. I’d hard to imagine this coming off any anything but rude. And, as everyone knows about the 72-hour rule, you’re not going to look all cavalier but rather that you follow stupid rules that everybody hates.
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If I called a woman for a date the upcoming weekend on a frickin’ Wednesday afternoon and she said she was already booked and I called too late, I’d assume she was blowing me off. Or the CFO of Dating, Incorporated or something. I understand that calling the day before is a bit too lax for many women, but I don’t think I’m up for having to arrange everything 96 hours in advance. “Hey, I’m free Saturday if you’d like to have dinner, also next Tuesday it’s going to be raining, it would be a great night for you come over with the DVD we talked about and maybe built a little sexual tension on the couch.”
I’m glad we’re not being graded on our spelling.