And people should also remember that Ellen Fein, co-author of *The Rule[/] got divorced as the book took off.
I find books and advice like that annoying. If you want to get someone who loves drama and the chase, then play drama and chase games. If that ain’t you, then you’re going to wind up with someone who isn’t going to be happy with you in the long run.
For chrissake, if you want to send a thank you email, SEND the email. If there are who are going to get scared off by an email less than 24 hours of a date, you’re better off with out him.
The zen approach is the only way to handle it. Have a good date, but realize you’re dealing with another human, who may or may not be all that is apparent. He or she may or may not respond back the second time. Just enjoy the fun and let the rest go.
Clearly she’s been reading one of Alice The Goon’s books on how to land a guy, and is coquettishly choosing to let you do the chasing, while making it clear that she’s a [del]booze-swilling trough-pig[/del] fun-loving sensualist who can have a great time with or without you.
Nice, so “he’s not all that into you” and “why do women date assholes” are cut from the same cloth…who woulda thunk it! Another similarity between sexes?
Thank you. The problem with telling girls to say “Sorry, can’t do Saturday” is that the assumption seems to be that guys have bottomless capacity for rejection and will always keep knocking on that door. I can’t say that I’m dating yet, being not quite 3 months separated, and never having done much dating even before I got married, but I know myself well enough to know that a flat rejection like that would pretty much exhaust my resources for a long time. DianaG’s suggestion would at least let guys like me know that it was worth the effort.
Yep. The rejection sucks. The rejection followed up by a counter offer is gold. She’s genuinley busy, or wants to appear so, but is expressing interest. You might want to answer her with “Thursday doesn’t work for me, but Wednesday does”, or “Yeah, I might just be able to fit you in. Coffee?”
Never, ever, have this conversation: “Are you free Saturday? No? How about Sunday? Egads, surely you’re free on Monday. Huh? But you’re spending the whole weekend washing your hair! Tuesday, then?”
Just going to say that twickster, you seem very desperate. That’s unattractive. Like others have said, you put yourself in the role of chaser. That’s also unattractive. If you sent me an e-mail the next morning after a date, I would have responded curtly with a “Thanks, I had a great time, too.” And that probably would have been the end of it.
Sorry about the crumbs, I’ll send my date along to ferret them out for you
Well thanks for best wishes but at my stage of lifes vicious charade I’m afraid the nearest I get to a meaningful relationship is with Eccles my cat. At least she loves me for what I am and not just cuz I keep her well fed…oh wait a second :dubious:
S’matter of fact the word “penetration” only applies when fishing fluff out of my navel
Why thank you Dudley , preens, and looks rather smugly at cat
Maybe. I thought her response was very nice, but it’s possible that she gave a wee bit too much. Only her prey can guage for sure. But a second e-mail at this point?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of Internet dating, where enthusiasm is desperation, politeness is unattractive, being too busy to go on a date is a sign of interest, single means recently separated, and everyone has an average build.
A note in the mail? I wouldn’t think she was too eager, I’d think she was my grandmother.
I think the conundrum can be neatly summarized as “too many contradictory rules of thumb that not everyone has agreed to.” I personally would have no problem with a short e-mail or even a phone call the following day. I thought eager was a good thing. I think getting a text message as I was going home from the date would be a bad signal. Do you also object to the kind of first-date eagerness that ends up with her in your bed?
