…a trombone in a gunfight.
Unless I missed it, I’m surprised no one has said Useless as tits on a nun, or balls on a priest.
…as a one armed paper-hanger.
You missed it.
Another vote for
tits on a boar hog
minor nitpick, it really should be teats on a boar hog
but everyone says tits.
YOU’RE AS USELESS AS…
Sandals on an amputee
A resume on a hobo
Whitney Houston’s sponsor
Anna Nicole Smith at a spelling bee
Clay Aiken in a whorehouse
Lindsay Lohan’s dinner
An ashtray on a crotch rocket
A snooze button on a smoke alarm
As useless as…
Anne Frank’s drum kit
A football bat
A pedal powered wheelchair
If someone with a broke dick hears you say that their feelings being hurt are probably the least of their concerns.