I love elephant jokes, too…they’re so silly.
Oh yeah, not a joke, but this should elicit a laugh.
We’ve got an electronic bulletin board at work where we can post ads and stuff. There was one today posted by a woman who has 28-month-old twin boys, 11-month-old twin girls who’s seeking part-time help (with references) a few hours on 3 days of the week (10.5 hours total) doing light house cleaning, baby laundry, baby care and feeding, and generally helping out the mother of these 4 little ones. The pay she’s offering is $80/week. I did the math - $7.62/hour.
Is that funny or what???
It appears she loves her kids less than $2/hour each. :rolleyes:
And awaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!!!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abbott!
Abbott who?
Abbott time you answered the door!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adair!
Adair who?
Adair once but I’m bald now!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Asia!
Asia who?
Asia you going to let me in!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ben!
Ben who?
Ben knocking on this door all morning!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cello!
Cello who?
Cello dere!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Diploma!
Diploma who?
Diploma to fix the leak!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Don Juan!
Don Juan who?
Don Juan to go to work today!
Thank you. No more baby jokes, please. If you feel you must, I’ll rejoin y’all next week.
Don’t get it.
Also, I found the beer truck.
Urp
but they’re twins - so each pair counts as 1 - so it’s reaaly only about $4 per that she cares :rolleyes: Teenage baby sitters todday get around $15/hour + overnight differential and fridge priviledges
no, ellen, no more baby jokes. we promise.
What’s the difference between a nymphomaniac, a prostitute, and an American Princess?
the nymphomaniac says
are you done already?
the prostitute says
aren’t you finshed yet?
and the princess says
[spoiler]beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.[spoiler]
ack! coding hamsters strike again! ack! :smack: that’ll teach me not to preview
You should come move my stuff for me.
We don’t have to paint, but AG is the decoraty type, so we went to Lowe’s and bought paint. 360 dollars for paint. I thought I’d cry.
Actually, I told you all about this last week, I think, and all the handsome burly men and everything.
Ex, he’s da plumber. Plumbers fix pipes.
Ooh! I went over to that thread and I am over there! This is thrilling me waaay beyond what it should. Get a grip, rigs.
Off to register #2 son for 3rd grade. Where did my lil guy go? <sniff>
Tis hot and humid here–apparently god didn’t get my memo. jeesh.
Ah.
The accent tripped me up.
Goin’ back to the beer truck. My wife will be pissed when I get home.
fcm, tel, and ellen, my apologies. No offence was meant. However, I do find it curious that no one has pressed the same point about a racist joke. Just sayin…
Having gone to a high school full of *Something-*ish American Princesses (and, I suppose, being one myself, if you really want to get technical), I got a bunch of these. 
How do you tell when an American Princess has had an orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
How do American Princesses make love?
Facing Bloomingdales.
How many American Princesses does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. Two to bitch, and one to get her boyfriend to do it.
What does an American Princess make for dinner?
Reservations.
Have you seen the newest American Princess horror movie?
It’s called Debbie Does Dishes.
Because it’s not about dead kids? I mean, racism is bad and all - I should know! - but the kid isn’t actually dead in it.
Ex, do you work for the government?
I still seem to have posting priveledges.
It’s possible that nobody’s reported me and the mods haven’t seen it yet, but my offence was about eighty times worse than yours.
I never should have hit “submit” on that one, but dead baby jokes make me think all bets are off.
I see.
::Note to Self:: You are not a comedian. No more jokes::
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that I may incriminate myself, or otherwise provide clues to my real-world identity.
Let’s just say that I have a recurring nightmare. I’m floating in a warm blue sea under a shining sun, totally at peace. Then out of nowhere I hear the words “Regulatory Impact” and I wake up screaming in a cold sweat.
That’s all I’m saying.
Why do I suddenly hear Men in Black music.
Anyway, I googled that phrase and figured it out all by myself.
Pugs, it’s not that. I will chuckle at dead baby jokes - because I don’t have any children. I work for an organization in which I hear about dead babies all the time…if you don’t laugh sometimes, you’ll cry. The stories I hear…But I won’t tell any dead baby jokes.
Hey Ex, c’mere. No, closer. I have a secret to tell you.
Ready? Listen… regulatory impact …
I’m such a meanie.
Governor Pataki? Is that you? 
I think he’s actually Mr. Spitzer. Or a friend of his. Regulatory impact, indeed.