Smart people, STUPID HAIR

The BBQ Pit
1

Ok, I want to know if there’s a special part of the brain which alerts people of bad haircuts, and whether above average normal intelligence somehow manages to block this out!

I like nerd boys, ok! I fucking like nerds! I love large vocabularies (among other things) and puns and math jokes and I can play computer games for hours on end. I CANNOT DEAL WITH CRAPPY HAIRCUTS OR BAD FACIAL HAIR. I cannot. It makes me run screaming to the hills.

The two worst offenders are:

  1. boys trying to grow beards who can OBVIOUSLY NOT grow beards. yuck. I have nothing against beards but, come on, if you can’t do it then you can’t fucking do it!

  2. mullets, or otherwise mangled long hair. I like long hair on guys, I promise! But when it’s short in the front, it doesn’t work! Either make it all one length, or don’t do it!!
    I want to pull out scissors and a razor and get to work on these people! They complain about girl problems, but why can’t they look in the mirror and realize that it’s ENTIRELY FIXABLE things that are causing them to look so much worse?

And I know, everything is subjective, blah blah, but no. Many of the guys I know would look far better (to the average joe, or average sarah) in short hair and clean chins, simply because they can’t pull off the beard/long hair look.

And this affects me, because I can’t find a decent geeky guy with sensible hair!

ARGHHHHH!

2

Start by dating them. Once they are under your thrall, then attack with the razor and scissors. If they start to complain, distract them with boobies. :smiley:

3

Hrrm…

My largest problem is trying to get my sideburns even.

It’s gotten a LOT better since I gave up tryin to shave every day. Just isn’t going to work, facial hair doesn’t grow that fast on me.

I suppose one day, when I have to go out in public I’ll start styling my hair… but I keep it short enough I can kinda just run my hand through itand look vaguely ok.

4

The line “I’d date you, but you need to get a real haircut first. Spend more than $15 on it,” works surprisingly well.

Often it’s a case of knowing things are bad-- but not knowing how to make it better. Not like these guys read hairdressing magazines, y’know.

5

(Obligatory) Heyyy NightRabbit, how you doin’?

I’m a guy, and I cringe too when I see these people. They need to be hit upside the head with a clue-by-four. Next time you hear one of them complain about girls, tell them how it is. Or lead by example, and start going out with the least hairy/most manicured one in the group.

Barbarian, $15 is plenty for a good haircut. The problem is that these guys spend three minutes a day on basic hygiene.

6

I’d like you to try styling hair like mine someday. When I walk into supercuts they have to draw straws.

7

Where were women like this when I was single?

8

I agree completely. As far as I’m concerned, there’s only one simple rule for men who don’t know what to do with their hair:

When in doubt, shave it. It almost always looks good, and if not, it will be back in two weeks.

It works for women too. When I shaved mine, I got hit on by a lot more women than ever before !

9

But…that money could go towards Magic: the Gathering cards, or Dungeons and Dragons books, or new computer equipment, or new anime, or whatever else strikes his geek fancy. You’d never get my husband to spend more than $15 on a haircut. Ever. To him, there are better things to spend his money on. He does keep his hair short (he’s got a real job, after all), but I’m assuming that the long-haired and bearded guys are doing it in part to stretch time between haircuts. Less haircuts (clothing, etc.) means more fun geek stuff.

Since these guys are not so concerned with how they look, but they know that other people are, they tend to find a look and stick with it. Often, this happened in junior high :). This could account for the mullets, which were actually all the rage in about 1988.

My husband is very picky about what he wears, especially to work. For example, his work pants are all black. This way, he does not have to worry about matching his shirts and pants–he just makes sure that all his shirts match black pants. He only wears certain colors of shirts. Solid colors–no prints. He has no eye towards the changing fashions, except when it means that he can’t find “acceptable” clothes anymore, and then he will complain to me (his colors seem to be gradually going out of style, unfortunately.) All his socks and his underwear are white. (Yes, he wears white socks with black pants. You can’t convince him this is wrong, because all his coworkers do it. It’s like an engineering uniform.)

He’s also worn the same style of aviator frames since the mid 80’s. He just goes in to the glasses store, picks out frames that look like his old ones, and goes with them. The last time he got glasses, I begged with him to at least look at the other frames. He humored me, and it is then that I found out that he’s got such a freakishly huge head that the aviator frames are the only ones that fit him! So, if you want to know why he’s got such outdated glasses, that may be why.

You might be able to ditch the mullet and the semi-beard, but if you want someone who doesn’t think that Great Clips is good enough and who won’t calculate the price difference between haircuts in Magic cards, then nerds are probably not the way to go. They don’t really understand fashion at all–to them, it’s an arbitrary set of rules mandated by workplaces and the women in their lives.

10

Well, damn. I thought this thread was going to be made up of examples of smart people who have bad hair. I was all set to give mine.

(FTR, Pierre Boulez).

11

You think that’s bad? I shaved my head AND all my clothing is black, except for some blue shorts I picked up somewhere. Every shirt I own is black, along with most of my pants and shorts. It’s just easier that way.

12

Wait’ll you’re middle-aged and have to deal with comb-over guys!

I had a boss who pulled his hair back into a teeny little doubled-over ponytail. Looked like his head was having a bowel movement.

13

Now, Eve, Comb-over Guys are sources of genuine entertainment, surpassing even the mullet as a source of hair-based hilarity.

14

I’ve specifically instructed Hubby to seek a haircut from someone who has chosen that field as their life’s work. I suspect that “Cost Cutters” is stopgap employment; merely a waystation for people on a different life journey. Alas, alack, some habits are impossible to change.

15

15 dollars for a haircut?

:eek:

You’re being robbed! I pay 11 bucks plus tip for mine!

16

I bought a pair of clippers 7 years ago.

7 years worth of haircuts (once every 2 weeks) = $18.

17

I would kill to be able to grow a half-assed, scraggly beard. “Once a week” is my motto, and it doesn’t look any worse after day 6 than a 5 o’clock shadow on one of you Chosen By Puberty jerks.

Perhaps not coincidentally, my scalp-hair grows way too fast for its own good. I do keep it shortish, but I think my forehead’s too big to make shaving it look good.

18

OK, that’s it, you win. I’ll shave. You better keep up your end of the bargain and start wearing lower cut, tighter shirts, though.

19

Beards without mustaches. They’re just wrong. The quarter-inch wide stripe down the chin? Yech. Or worse, the mustache-less French poodle explosion of beard as wide as the guy’s head.

And don’t get me started on line beards - those mascara-pencil-wide tracings around the cheeks. Fugly, fugly, fugly!

20

As far as I am concerned, a beard is OK. A well-trimmed goatee is even OK. A soul patch is a cry for help.

Geeky guys have busy brains, and they’re either too interested in other things to think about their hair, or they choose a haircut that works for them and hang on to it for thirty years (I married the latter type.)