Man, I wish I’d had the strength of will to do what you did when I was 23. Instead, I gave in to the ridiculous demands, and ended up marrying her ass and staying with her for another six years. Good job.
Why not block her number? That way you can have your phone on and not hear from her.
The response looks unanimous. You played it in excellent fashion. Do what it takes to keep this person out of your life, and remember that guilt is optional. if your subconscious sends up guilt feelings when you don’t do what someone else asks you to do, just the tell that subconscious to go fuck itself.
QFT. I agree with everyone else, you absolutely did the right thing. Playing her manipulative games would be bad for you both. You both need this to be a clean break. It hurts, but way less than dragging it out will. Honestly I’d recommend cutting off all contact. Take care of yourself and do things you find enjoyable for a while.
hugs
You did better than I when faced with a similar situation, for whatever that’s worth.
All the ones I know are batshit crazy. Including my exwife and sister. No offense to the nurses here.
Call the cops. Get a restraining order. Run far away. No need to feel anything but relief that you got away.
Another vote for you did better then good.
A thing I learned here on the boards, is that manipulative suicide threats arelegally considered a form of mental and emotional abuse; no less a cause for calling the cops then if she would have hit you a black eye or threatened you with a fire arm. Make no mistake; she is not the victim here, she’s the abuser. But your emotions already told you that.
Nothing to add other than to say you are light-years more mature and reasonable than I was at 23.
Around 1900, hobos would make asecret mark outside of a home, on a fence, etc to let others know if the place was safe or other things.
I think we guys need to develop a similar code. You definitely need to warn others about her by putting the “insane girlfriend, run!” sign outside her door.
Oh, come on. Nurses? Suicide? It’s the In Thing right now.
Another vote for, “You done good.” She’s not just a little bit dramatic; she sounds like she has a couple of full-blown mental diagnoses going on there (bipolar, borderline, histrionic personality, etc.).
One thing you need to know about people like this - you won’t drag them up and fix them, they’ll just drag you down. You aren’t responsible for her; you’re only responsible for you.
I won’t say you did the right thing because there is no right thing. There’s no coarse of action that leads to a happily ever after for both of you. You can’t save her. All you can do is save yourself.
Inner thigh.
I once dated a guy who actually went through with a marriage to a woman because she actually attempted suicide after he tried to break things off. They divorced within 2 years.
Don’t engage crazy behavior.
QFT. I have never, ever, ever heard of a story like this that ended with the crazy behavior being accommodated and the dramatic person placated and then everything turning out fine. Don’t reward her manipulations with your attention. Didn’t you say that she’s done this twice before with previous boyfriends and that they gave in to her? No wonder she’s pulled it again; it’s always worked before.
You did the right thing and the only thing you could have done in a wack situation. Continue not to engage with her; it is truly the only way to end this cleanly.
She sounds like the psychiatrists I work for’s descriptions of borderline personality disorder. Most of their BPD patients have a history of threatening suicide in addition to the rest of the drama.
Jragon, 23 is too young to have to put up with that crap, and I think you handled it with as much grace as can be reasonably be expected of anyone, let alone someone so young.
That’s not a bad lesson to take from this. History tends to repeat itself. Just like cheaters often will cheat again, crazy people will often keep acting crazy. Don’t expect to be the “special one” who can be an exception to how they people. Don’t expect to fix them.
Thanks for the support, everyone.
I have to say, Borderline, Histrionic, and Dependent Personality Disorder fit her pretty perfectly, though obviously I’m not qualified to make a diagnosis.
On the other hand, I thought I just had social anxiety, but I may actually have avoidant personality disorder (though I’m getting better, luckily).
But it’s supposed to be a consequence of the high pressures and emotional stress, not a preexisting condition! And in some cases (thinking of one I know who doesn’t trust most doctors and is thus considered “nuts” by her acquaintances), a case of knowing too much.
Maya Angelou will rarely steer you wrong:
I vote for blocking her number and remembering this lesson learned.