On that note, there actually are some positives in this situation; it sounds like your marriage has been struggling for a while. Well, the indecision is over. For better or worse, he’s made things much clearer for you. At some point in the future, you might find yourself in a much better marriage, with a man who loves you and would never hurt you.
Oh, I keep forgetting to mention - a huge life change like this will probably follow a course very much like grieving. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself going through all the stages of grieving, and having conflicting and illogical emotions.
Please, please don’t do this. I understand the temptation, but that is the Devil’s road. Forget her number and try not to think about her (yeah, right). Therapy is the place to discuss her, but remember, you don’t know her, and you don’t want to. She’s the symptom, not the problem, and chances are she is more to be pitied than scorned. Your ex is the one who made and broke promises to you, so focus on dealing with him… He’s another person you might want to limit contact with, for that matter. Go through your attorney if you think things might get too intense or painful for you right now. It’ll get easier.
Most of all, be kind to yourself. You don’t deserve this, but you can deal with it. I hope that the future is better to you than the past has been, and I’m pretty sure it will be. Good luck.
I know I said I was going to keep mum, but I wanted to reassure those who were kind enough to post that i won’t be doing anything vindictive. It’s not in me.
Just wanted to second (third?) the sentiment that the kids will be better off with split parents than unhappy parents. My parents have not liked eachother for years. As the only kid and the only nearby family, I am the common spot for venting from both parents. Having to listen to their complaints about eachother is very tiring. Watching my dad drink himself into a stupor every night is frightening. Seeing my mom’s random outbursts of frustration mixed with delusion are frightening. It made our house very cold and distant growing up and I can’t stand to visit even now. If they would only seperate. But neither one has got the guts. Now I’m depressed.
