Oh, darkly hilarious depressing thoughts.
I’ll have to get a few drinks in to come up with any.
“The countersign is ‘If it doesn’t rain later’”.
I was thinking that cookies with horrible fortunes would be a perfect sideline for the Cards Against Humanity people. It turns out they thought so too.
Many oxen are in my bed. Many, many oxen.
Long live concrete.
Your date can’t wait to go home alone.
You’re eating food cooked last Tuesday.
You will become rich and famous and loved by all----- NOT
This coupon good for 50 cents off your order
If it weren’t for these fortunes there’s no way anyone would buy these shitty cookies.
You will soon reach the end of this sentence.
Nice.
I’ve heard there are Jewish Mother fortune cookies that say things like:
You should be wearing a sweater.
Women will flock to you.