Last week, I was hanging out with a young and attractive gal. We’re not romantically involved, but we are good friends. We stayed out late because she didn’t want to go home just yet. Her roommates were out of town, and she had a pesky suitor who had a tendency to hang around her home. We decided to stay out past midnight, so as to avoid this fella. (She was confident that he wouldn’t stick around that late, since he lived far away and didn’t have a car.)
So we go to talking about this fella, and our conversation went something like this:
Jokingly, I said, “Maybe you should tell him that I’m your fiancee. Maybe then he’ll leave you alone.”
“No,” she replied. “I don’t think that would discourage him.”
“Well then, maybe you should tell him that I’m your new husband.”
“Yeah. That might work.”
It later occurred to me that some might say that we were flirting with each other. Were we? I’m honestly not sure.
Mind you, we’re good friends, but not in a brother-sister kind of way. So I’m not sure how to view this conversation. If you were a casual listener, how would you interpret it?
I’d say there isn’t enough info in your post to say definitively. I’m not saying you left it out, because it is hard to document body language and contextual information about your friendship so far. From the description you give, with no context and body language cues to go on, I’d say that she was not flirting with you.
Now if I were a casual listener, I’d say the same thing but if I were a casual observer, it would depend on the BL.
If she wasn’t flirting with me, then I’d actually feel relieved. We’re already good friends, but despite her many positive qualities, I really don’t want to pursue anything with her.
It’s possible. I was in a bar one time and a girl asked me to hang out with her to discourage some dork who was hitting on her. A few minutes later we were making out.
Here’s how you find out. Invite her over. Then excuse yourself and go into the other room. Come back five imnutes later naked with an erection and a bottle champagne (because it classy). She how she reacts. If she starts taking off her clothes, she was flirting. If she does anything else pretend like you forgot she was there and this just something you do when you are alone.
PS - If she starts to take off her clothes and you don’t want to make love with her. Wait until she is naked (might as well sneak a peak) and then tell her this was all just a way to see if she was flirting the other day. She will appriciate that you investigated the matter in such a non-awkward way.
As a woman, it doesn’t sound to me like she was flirting. She’s answering the question that, yes, telling this guy you are her husband would work in scaring him off while saying you’re just a fiancee wouldn’t.
That’s my interpretation.
Okay, her “suitor” should not be called such - that’s a stalker. Tell her to sort him out the legal way - tell the police. And no, I don’t she wasn’t flirting with you.
Nah, it’s not quite that bad. Remember, I never said that he DID drop by her house late at night. Rather, she was just concerned that he might.
BTW, folks, thanks for putting things in perspective. Looking back, I do realize that her words alone wouldn’t show that she was flirting. It’s just that there’s this whole greater context to our friendship that put some blinders on my eyes. Her body language sometimes (but not always) makes me wonder, for example. We’ve also been eating out together at least once a week, which also makes me wonder.
It’s ultimately a moot point anyway, as I’m pretty darned certain that things wouldn’t work out between us.
