I’m a nearly 40 year old male virgin - hell, I’ve yet to manage so much as a kiss - and I can’t say it really bothers me now. Sure, I’m disappointed that it hasn’t happenned, but life’s sometimes like that. Even when some young ladies had a house almost opposite me, I never felt tempted. Still, it means I can do my very best for my nephew.
i’ve just turned 16 
and it’s still that way really, the guy being a stud and the girl a whore. i can’t stand feminists but sometimes they have a point… that’s just unfair! lol
I lost my virginity when I was a senior in high school and it was with a guy I dated for over a year at the time. My husband is the 3rd person I have ever had sex with. Mr. Geek on the other hand was a “virgin”, but not because he didn’t want to have sex, he just hadn’t found anybody worth a damn… until me 
As far as the whole “saving yourself for marriage” thing… whatever works for you, your choice, but for me it would be like buying a car without a test drive. I would want to know that there was compatability.
No, I completely agree. But, then, I think religion makes people do a lot of stupid things. I guess I just don’t get what the big deal about marriage is. What’s more important to you, experiencing your humanity to its fullest, or some dippy ceremony?
Yeah, like not stealing, or lying or murdering.
Stupid religion.
Well the other day I was rock climbing, I dropped a piece of gear (a belay device and a carbineer if it matters) in a deep crack in a rock, I could see it, about 15 feet down, but no way to get it. I have lost it, though I knew exactly where I left it.
If you come from the prospective of marriage is till death I think it’s pretty obvious, sex runs all sorts of long term risks, both emotionally and physically. Not only STD’s but the risk of pregnancy, razing a child, giving your child away forever to another couple to raise if adopted out, or potentially you having live with your choice to have your unborn child killed during an abortion. Some may want to have a lifelong partner before taking such a risk…
I meant that the phrase “losing your virginity” implies that there was some carelessness involved. There wasn’t.
And for future reference, I can’t recommend razing your children.
Meh. That first part was supposed to read:
The phrase “losing your virginity” implies that there was some carelessness involved, and that I’m worse off without it. There wasn’t, and I’m not.
It makes sense to me that there’s nothing objectively undesirable - or desirable - about sexual inexperience. But I’ve become subjectively convinced, through social and cultural conditioning, that unless you’re one of the tiny minority-within-a-minority who are completely asexual, it is going to affect how you see yourself as a person, and consequently, how others see you.
I’m particularly convinced that that oft-cited “smell” of undefinable desperation or lack of confidence is going to cling to a sexually inexperienced male over a certain age. Whether or not he feels particularly desperate or unconfident, others are likely to perceive him so, and react accordingly. The “smell” can probably be scrubbed away, but a one-night stand with someone equally desperate isn’t going to work magic. It probably takes months or years of hard emotional work that is likely to make you feel worse, not better, until you get the hang of it.
Thanks to everyone for contributing to this thread.
I have learned a lot from all of you.
Ok, in that context it makes sense, you intentionally threw away your belay device and a carbineer into the crevice, instead of accidentally hitting your hand on a rock and dropping them in the crevice.
A hymen is not something your life depends on.
IMO, virginity has no value. Deciding you want to stay a virgin until you meet That Special Someone is like deciding you’re going to be a vegetarian until you find a steakhouse you really, really like - and you’re going to choose a steakhouse before you ever taste their cooking (or in the more extreme cases, before you even look at the menu). That’s the only steakhouse you’ll ever eat at, so your whole idea of what steak is all about will be based only on that particular restaurant.
I wouldn’t even consider marrying someone I hadn’t already had sex with, lived with, etc. I think getting married should be about affirming that you’ve found exactly what you want, not about taking a permanent plunge into the unknown.
Heh. Atheists are less likely than believers to be criminals, and also less likely to divorce… just so you know.
You’re not seriously likening sex to meat, are you? :dubious: I would like to think it has a little more significance than that.
I’ve stayed a virgin not because I value my virginity, but because I value the act of sex. I would to share it with someone I care about and who cares about me - at least, that’s how I feel about it now. When I actually do the deed I suppose I might change my mind. Be that as it may, I don’t feel like my virginity is doing me any favors - like Eddie Izzard said, it feels like two huge suitcases that I have to drag around with me all the time. I would like to get rid of them, but I don’t want to throw them in the dumpster. Does this make sense? :rolleyes:
I think it’s overrated. Lovemaking with someone you really care about is special whether it’s your first time or your one thousandth. And getting hung up over “saving your virginity” is needlessly giving yourself mental grief – but if someone wants to agonize over it, that’s their business.
Yeah, I thought that way when I was a virgin too. (I also thought driving a car was a lot more significant before I got my license.) But really, sex isn’t magic, it’s just a thing you can do with someone else. It can be special or it can be ordinary. If it isn’t special the first time, that doesn’t mean it can’t be special the next time. And unlike eating steak, sex is something that benefits from experience - if you know what you’re doing, you and your partner will both have a much better time.
Well, that’s understandable. No reason to have sex with someone you don’t like… but there’s a difference between waiting for someone who cares about you, and waiting for The One.
I heartily agree. I’m very glad that both my SO and I had experience before we got together. Made our first time even better.
Careful there. If you think there’s a double standard for men and women, you may very well be a feminist yourself.
I like this! Some places in the world, a woman’s life does depend on her hymen. 
I am waiting for many Ones, hopefully. 
Honestly, it’s not like I don’t want to get laid. I just don’t want to get rid of my virginity for the sake of getting rid of virginity.