So you want to be an unholy lesbian vampire

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Yeah!

I’m not all that unholy, I don’t think I’m a lesbian, I’m not a vampire, and unless smashing teams in academic competition counts, I’m not in an army.

But I am of the night, thanks to college. That, combined with the fact that andygirl likes me, puts me instantly in the ULVAN:)

22

I’ve been away; hanging out at this thread all day waiting to have sex with rich strange men, take their money, and then eat their carcasses. So far I’ve had no takers, but I think that still qualifies me for the unholy and possibly the vampire part of the requirements. But I’m already a member anyway, right?

-----:stuck_out_tongue:
—////\\

23

Lessee…

  1. I’m Jewish, bordering on apostate
  2. I know some lesbians, does that count? :smiley:
  3. Can’t help you with the vampire thing.
  4. I was in the Navy (but I was in Army ROTC in high school)
  5. I work 4 pm to midnight and seldom make it to bed before two a.m. and I never wake up before nine or ten a.m.

Please keep me informed as to the progress of my application.

Robin

24

I swear… you tell a guy you think his chest is sexy just once, and you’re never allowed to forget it… :wink:

25

Ooh, ooh, can I be the Viceroy of the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army? :slight_smile:

I am most unholy.

Even though I love women, I’m not technically a lesbian, but I do have first-hand lesbian experience. Twice I had former girlfriends leave me for “the other girl” (though I did have fun while it lasted ;))

I’m not a vampire, but I do become a wolf during full moons.

I have no military experience, but I could probably design some strap-on weapons and diving equipment.

I am nocturnal.

Oh, and I can recruit real lesbians at work if you need me too.

26

Can I play one on TV?

Yer pal,
Satan

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27

Hey, hey. I said you liked me. I never said anything about whipped cream, cherries, and “Flowers for Algernon” . . .

'Sides, if I said your chest was sexy, you’d never let me forget it:p

28

What? Your elbows holding out on you from having your gate swing the other way?

29

  1. Be unholy … Let’s see. I occasionally worship the goddess of Chaos. Kallisti!

  2. Be lesbian … no, but there have been moments of temptation, and I have been propositioned more than once.

  3. Be a vampire … Scorpio, red-head, pagan - whats’ one more thing?

  4. Be in an army … all Irish women are great warriors.

  5. Be of the night. … there is anything else?

In regard to flexible, my hips are double-jointed.

Hmm?

30

1.definitley unholy
2.Unfortunatley male
3.Have been known to suck blood
4.I have a marine corp. shirt
5.what better time to be awake

31

Well I am certainly unholy, though I’m not a lesbian or a vampire. So my question is are there places for sorcerers in the ULVAN?

32

Silly Shirley:) You want axillary there, right?

Bit to the left, perhaps? Careful . . . your cat seems to think the axillary’s a scratching post . . . and . . . this . . . thing . . . drops axillary isgettingalittleheavy.

33

Well, andygirl, Dark Princess, you started it now…

34

Well, screw y’all. I already have my own secret army.

35

(emphasis mine)

1)yes
2)no (straight guy)
3)will be if necessary
4)see 3)
5)yes

So can I join?

36
  1. I’m Pagan and a Role Player
  2. Um I don’t think I am cuz I like guys too much.
  3. I play a few of them in Role Play and love Vamp literature (I even dream I’m a vampire)
  4. Nope
  5. I hate going to bed and stay up whenever I can. Even if I lay in my bed reading with a flashlight for another couple of hours after I should be asleep.

I think I meet the criteria

37

Hmmm…I apparently meet none of the criteria.

  1. I’m a Methodist (of the liberal “alcohol-drinking” branch)
  2. No, but that would explain a lot.
  3. Blood! Yech!
  4. See number 1.
  5. Zzzzzzzzz…

So, if I met a member of the ULVAN, would both of us disappear in a cloud of smoke? :slight_smile:

38

Will joining the ULVAN help me to impress the ladies?

:wink:

39

  1. Be unholy
    the nuns thought so when I was in catholic school

  2. Be lesbian
    Nope, but I like the porn

  3. Be a vampire
    I enjoy a good bloody steak every now & again

  4. Be in an army
    Member of the Straight Dope Army
    Rank: LT Little*Bit-Interrogations/POW Handler (IPH/SP/19 SO)

  5. Be of the night
    Although most of my posts are durring daylight hours, it is only because I spend my night time being unholy, watching lesbian porn, eating raw red meat, while tying up men & making them do my bidding.
    Can I be in?

40

Oh Twisty hon…you ALREADY impress some of us. :wink: