My God. I missed the first thread until just now.
When I read the original rant, I thought, “Well, from the reactions she must not have said it well, but that could be a nice sentiment.” Then I saw what else she has pulled. You have my deepest sympathy for having to endure her presence at any time.
You also have my best wishes. I’m sure that you will be a beautiful and radiant bride, and that your first husband will be happily watching your newfound joy.
Wow. An excellent rant from a relative newcomer. I was hooked right from the beginning (“fishcunt” indeed). I give it a 10.
Other than that, there’s not much I can add; you seem to be handling it in the best way possible. The more you can let Joe know that you don’t hold him responsible for her insanity without forcing him to choose between you guys and her, the better.
Hang in there, and if need be, get a restraining order. But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
SIC, I never cease to be amazed at how unbelievably crass some people can be. What gall it takes to be so publicly rude!! Glad to see that everyone gave her the old heave-ho.
I knew a woman like this, whose comments would almost seem like a compliment, but were actually catty remarks (“WOW, that dress makes you look really THIN!!”). Until true colors are revealed, no one sees what these people are like and they think that YOU are the one with a problem–I hate that so much. This is probably one reason that a woman like this can have a boyfriend at all, much less for seven years.
Anyway, congrats on your upcoming wedding. I wish for you many years of joy together–I think you certainly have it coming! 
I totally agree with Tenar and zappo. You sound like a wonderful person, and i just know that your late husband is ECSTATIC that you found someone you truly care about. I know your wedding will be fabulous too… even with a lavender dress 
I know people with no concept for politeness or social skills also, but what Megabitch said was BEYOND rude. I will give you MONEY(not a lot though… im poor;) ) to give tis person a SDMB name so i can fully express my wrath.
I fortunatly have not had a significant other(To ALL the ladies out there I’m single! ) die, and i can not imagine your pain but the only advice i can give is just avod contact, and when you are unfortunate enough to meet, be very blunt. You owe her nothing.
Anyway… Congratulations! I hope your life with our husband will be the greatest! and as we say down South-of-the-border,
Felicidades y buen vida para ti y tu amor!!!
**Smashed ** I am not adding anything of revelance here that will make me look like Einstein.
:::::::the sound of the other shoe dropping::::::::::But
Regarding Your Mr. Wonderful and his Brother and how to bring the conversation of this obvious deranged woman up…
Print out a copy of this thread and mail it to Joe. (Show it to your fiance first, maybe) Something has to be done NOW.
The sooner the better. If you think this is the end of seeing/hearing from her, don’t bet on it.
This woman is a social cancer.
After all you endured with losing your first husband, and how you pulled yourself together and managed to somehow feel sunshine on your face again and laugh again and love yourself and find love again, you deserve everything and so much more.
Wow, Smashed Ice Cream, you’re quite an addition to the board — fascinating pit rant, and one helluva good sounding recipe to boot!
I’m very sorry for the loss of your first husband, and very pleased that you have found another man you wish to share your life with. My best wishes to you both. As others have said, I am certain that your first husband genuinely would be pleased to see you finding happiness again.
But this bitch ---- ugh. I’m so sorry she’s in the picture, and potentially straining relationships in your family-to-be. Actually, I think in the long run that it will actually be a favor to you that she did such a monstrous thing to you IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE. The truly clever bitch-slugs manage to bring out their knives only in private, so that others think it’s just you when you complain about their meanness. Fortunately, she appears to be merely evil, and not clever. I think others will be able to justify your refusal to have her around. (I would still apologize to your in-laws in private about the rift, however, and explain the hurtful comments to others who were not present in order to justify a refusal to be around her.)
If you are forced to be in her company, my choice of reaction to her would be either “Get away from me, you evil scum” every time she approached, or a kindly “I’m so sorry that your jealousy over Ross’s and my relationship is leading you to passive aggressive behavior. I’m really concerned for you, and think you should seek professional counseling. I’m sure there are quite a few psychiatrists in our area specializing in your disorder. (Pull out the yellow pages or hand her a list for dramatic effect, if you wish.) I really think you should seek help, and I think it would be in both our best interests if we don’t come in contact with one another before you get help with your problems.” Just repeat the final phrase over and over, no matter what her response.
She’s not going to Florida, by the way, is she?
Best wishes on your upcoming nuptials. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you and your fiance.