Dang it, I meant to add that the women around you are probably as good as you are at hiding their interest.
Well, I would rather not have this thread turn into a discussion of my looks. The compliments are nice, but it wasn’t my intent to start this thread in hopes of inflating my ego or anything like that. Perhaps the majority of the lack of interest is my lack of hair, either way I suppose it is a moot point. I am a shy guy, and my tastes in women tend to lean towards the independent, intelligent, tomboy that has a wide variety of interests and is outgoing and energetic. I personally would also enjoy a woman that reads more than a handfull of books a year (magazines don’t count), and loves movies and music of ALL types. Now, hyperbole on both ends aside: I may not be hideously ugly, but I am a poor student with a bald head and not much else going for him. I certainly don’t have a razzle dazzle personality that would get a woman as wonderful as my tastes desire. I am not super picky in the looks department, but lets face it, a woman like that can get just about any guy she wants. The sad fact is that I don’t have anything that sets me apart from the crowd.
I am going to set this one out. I thank everybody for the advice, and perhaps the best advice is to let her make the move. Perhaps drop a few harmless hints at the most. One thing I do remember her saying is that in Japan the girl tends to be the one that asks the guy, and the guys tend to be shy. I never heard of this until she mentioned it, but apparently in Japan, their version of Valentines day, the girl gives the candy to the guy, and if he likes her, he returns the gift on (IIRC) a different day.
I like that. Perhaps I was meant to live in Japan…
Anyhow, it isn’t so bad being single. I have no real complaints. Dating only makes me vulnerable. There is power in being alone and not caring.
I know you said not to comment on your looks, but I’m sorry, I have to. You’re very mistaken about guys with no hair. In fact, I have a particular soft spot for guys with no hair. Just so you know!
(And, I agree with the other ladies in this thread with regard to your looks.)
Man, oh man this is a tough one.
I think you need a third party involved. Someone who knows you well but is also one of her friends. They need to help you out and ask her some questions so she can answer them with a straight answer and not feel weirded out about talking to you directly about it.
“Hey, that Epimetheus is a nice guy huh?”
“He’s pretty shy though.”
“Would you ever go out with a guy like that?”
“No, he didn’t tell me to ask you. It just seems to me like you guys get along pretty well.”
She’ll either tell that person “Oh no, I could never date him. I see him as a brother and that’s about it” or “Yeah, I would probably date him if he asked me.”
Either way, I think she’d be more comfortable answering questions to someone else and not feel creeped out.
I would daresay that’s a big fat no. I, and LOTS of women, think bald men (shaved or natural) are extremely attractive. And you look really good that way.
I know you don’t want to have this focused on your looks so that’s all I’ll say. Personally I think you are probably shy and don’t know your own attractiveness. You really have nothing to worry about in the looks department.
Disclaimer: I am not Japanese, and am not familiar with Japanese culture. However… I have seen in several anime the idea of giving chocolates/candy. The more elaborate the chocolate/candy, the greater the level of interest. In those cases it’s always the girl giving it to the guy (or girls, rather, in your typical anime, and all sorts of hilarity ensues). Be careful though! If dating patterns follow anything like Korean does, you have lots of anniversaries coming up to have to give back. There’s the 100 day anniversary, the 1 month anniversary, the 3 month… or at least that’s what my cousin told me. And each one of those has a special gift or something you’re supposed to do. You might not know what you’re getting yourself into here. Best of luck! Hopefully if she does say something, she’ll say it soon before she leaves. But it’s always better to have loved, no?
My advice: tell her you like her. Tell her what you like about her personality. Tell her how you feel around her.
Try to figure out what she likes, what she wants to do, what she needs from her American brother. Get to know her personally, individually; don’t try to push her into a role. Let her pick her own role. Offer her you support and friendship.
Don’t be all “Oh I’m looking for this list of qualities, I prefer women who are fill-in-the blank, I’m going for situation a, b, or c…” Get in the moment, dude. The story hasn’t been written yet. Pay attention while it’s happening.
(From your pictures, I’d put you in the foxy category for sure.)
God, you are so wrong about your attractiveness. Put on a nice pair of jeans, an expensive sweater and some stompy boots. Go out to a bar. You will have the wimmins crawling all over you. If you want an intellectual chick repeat above steps and go to a college/grad school’s library. Smile. Someone will saunter over, I promise. Maybe one will even be the type you like.