PEZ dispensers are hilarious.
Having sex on your office desk with the cleaning lady will likely get you fired.
Cashmere on sale is usually a poor gift idea.
Always check for top button placement on your shirt prior to purchase.
This debunked fake news still cropping up?
from the Washington Post:
More often than not, a hipster doofus will do the exact opposite of what you expect or want.
Never get caught staring at a 15-year-old girl’s cleavage, no matter how nice it is. :o
Eating 70-year-old movie theater hot dogs will make you sick.
Always check the photos you send out on Christmas cards. Check them *very *carefully.
Poppy pees on sofas.
It’s not Suze. It’s Susie!
“Eno enoa juang” is Korean for “This guy…this is not my kind of guy”.
Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, 'cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.
Doormen are jerks.
Your medical record gets passed around from doctor to doctor whether you want it to or not.
The Three Stooges short Sappy Pappy wasn’t a Shemp, it was a Curly.
Rabbis will repeat things on TV that you told them in private.
You are not a **real **man if you don’t move in on a comatose neighbor’s hot girlfriend.
Falling butt-first onto a fusilli sculpture is painful.
Women should be grateful when a man pushes them out of the way in an emergency, because he’s treating them as equals.
3D art can be very distracting.
Poppy seed bagels can make you fail a drug test.
Grandmother’s are on a very fixed income.
Vintage raincoats are huge sellers
Just the trees, Johnie, just the trees.
The Kavorka is a terrible responsibility.
Never let a shiksa choose the mohel for your son.
Fear is our most primal emotion.
Never try to mug a clown walking in the park at night.
That entire sentence gives me the shivers. {shudder}
If you do, make sure you’re not being recorded. :mad:
When installing a garbage disposal, you’ve got to dismantle the latch hasp from the
auxiliary drainage line, not the main line.
Undercoating is a rip-off.
Interesting texture…
For power in the shower, you want the Commando 450. Even if it’s made for circus elephants.
If your name is the same as a famous killer’s, it’s best to change it to O.J.