[announcer voice]And the Birdman’s drought continues. He hasn’t reached base in his last 20 at bats. Stay tuned.[/announcer voice]
Ahem
Me.
Tripler
That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it.
- Massive
- Board
- Orgy.
Looks like it’s time for a dopefest.
Gasp! choking on food while laughing hysterically
I hereby nominate Totoro for funniest post of less than 12 words.
Anyone who read my thread on anexcess of erections in my house would be right to assume that I have sex on a regular basis.
My IRL sex life runs the gammut from sweet sleepy Sunday morning lovin to raucous, raunchy Saturday night f*cking, with a little bit of everything else thrown in other days of the week.
But Oh I still love to talk about it, read about and look for tips on how to be better at it–or at least different at it. Different is good.
So you guys carry on. I’m taking notes.
Yooooo Hooooo Honey, Come here, I want to show you something. 
Gee, Mermaid, thanks for rubbing it in and making me feel even worse.
- Massive
- Board
- Hi, Opal!
- Orgy
Well, let’s see:
I was born in 1980 and I’m a junior in college. We take age in years (x) and devide by number of sexual encounters to date (y) and I should be getting laid again . . . just as President Bush is coming up for re-election. Shit.
[Insert “sexual-frustration-affects-spelling” joke here.]
Jeez, go away for a week and I get this…
I should leave more often 
Wow.
I don’t know if I should be offended or amused.
In any case, the OP is correct, I DO need to get laid, however, finding a willing partner has been difficult.
I’m getting a brand new queen sized bed (I’ve been sleeping in a TWIN, how pathetic is that)next week. Any male Dopers care to help me break it in?
In an effort to once again prove that nothing phases me…
I’ve never been laid.
Of COURSE I need some action!
However, I can wait longer still… I have Quake, I have Unreal, and I have the SDMB.
Hey, how’d you find that out? Have you seen my “Things to do” list?
I got laid about, oh, 30 minutes or so ago.
I feel fine
- Get up.
- Get two spazzy toddlers ready for day care.
- Get self ready for work.
- Rouse husband from coma he calls “sleep” so he can take me to work and take kids to day care.
- Gratuitous “Hi Opal!” reference, although this is a list of more than two.
- Work in customer service for local government.
- Go home to spazzy toddlers, and spazzy husband who can’t find missing shoe, baby wipes, or guitar picks.
- Wave to husband as he flies out door to his job.
- Spend evening feeding/chasing/duct-taping spazzy toddlers.
- Cruise SDMB during spazzy toddlers periodic R&R moments
- Tuck finally exhausted toddlers in to beds.
- Cruise SDMB until wee hours.
- Fall asleep on couch.
- Stagger in to bed when husband comes home at 4 am.
- Sleep until cycle begins again.
Hm. “Get laid” isn’t on the list.
Sigh.
Crap, Pers,
Whatta apt description of my day.
Crumbs.
If ya can’t pick on Corv, who can ya pick on?
And the cool thing is SPOOFELY says:
Knowing fully I am about a decade older than him. I still got it and yes I admit I need to get laid.
< snort, and jumping like a little girl >
Well, far be it for me to argue with advice to get laid more. But, being an argumentative fellow --perhaps explaining my divorced status but that’s another matter-- I will.
True, true. Of course, by choice. I hate Cairo. I loathe the ex-pat scene and Cairenes rub me the wrong way. And of course our projects in the country side are not in areas where socializing with Westerners is terribly smart. Anyway, plug is going to be pulled on all this soon, I suspect so maybe I’ll get to go to Tunis or Turkey.
Who could argue with this?
If you’re planning on sending me a buxom short skirted beauty for a Cairo visit with “services,” may I request she be on the darker side? Ah wait, this may get me in trouble with virtual wives. Ah well.
But let me nitpick, lots of chickies in the city don’t wrap themselves head to foot and I can say from experience that many enjoy their body. However, the society has rules. You play for keeps or you pay to play. Given my reluctance on both accounts, drinking with my Leb buddy and wasting time at SBDM is a good time passer. (Aside, I have to say the imagery of arguing GD style in a bar is singularly odd. My weakness for Bacardi usually undermines neat arguments to be made.)
Oh dear, Coll, you mean to tell me [hic] you don’t wax [hic] eloquent under the influence?
Wow.
-Silver Fire, who really does need to get laid but hates to admit it.