Good god! The Holy Grail!
Oh, I glossed right over this because Kalhoun is kidding.
Right?
Well you guys don’t know me, so what the hell.
I have an enormous penis. Really. It’s big. It is just shy of 10 inches and is literally as big around as a beer can.
(from when I was single) I have been in clubs and chatting up a girl and if I see it is going nowhere I can find a way to introduce this fact and she will eave with me 90% of the time. No matter what they tell you, they will not pass up the chance to try out a big one.
The draw back is that recieving oral means you get the harmonica treatment, as the regular way is almost impossible.
So you’re incredably famous, have a big dong, and now work in a crappy job.
You must be an ex-porno star.
I buy a lot of my underwear at the Dollar Store. They have some really cute psychedelic bikini panties. You can’t beat the price. Plus, they last a long time.
We could, but we don’t.
Yes, it is pretty accurate, but gals need to do a lot of yoga, Pilates and/or Kegel to get it right.
Newbie here. Good thread for my first post I’d say. Funny stuff.
I must be one boring piece of crap. This probably really isn’t TMI, especially following some of your crazy asses, but all I can think of is my love for having sex in the snow. Freezing my ass off, but doing everything to keep both myself and the girl warm. Squeezing tight, creating as much friction as possible, switching from bottom to top and back again, rolling through the yard. It usually takes a good bit of talking the girl into it, but there’s only been one who absolutely hated it. You actually get numb to the cold after a minute or so, and it’s great to get out of the cold, into the house, and get warmed up together.
Again, not TMI I know, but I thought I’d post in the first thread I laughed my ass off at.
…waiting for the first snow in western PA.
How can you tell if a cricket is masturbating?
I got re-circumsised when I was 2 (nobody’s ever given me a good reason for either time).
I remember it! :eek:
My mother chose Xmas eve about 10 tears ago to tell a friend of hers about it WHILE I WAS IN THE ROOM!! :mad:
how much more demeaning can it get? 
How about this? My mum kept my dessicated foreskin in a frickin’ photo album and showed it to everybody
My father, by the way, circumcised himself when he was a teenager. With a pocket-knife–because it was closing up around the head of his penis, making urination difficult and erections painful. He didn’t feel comfortable bringing anything like that up with his folks.
My dad was a tough son-of-a-bitch.
When he says he’d rather just sit and watch TV with you instead of being intimate, but still insists that there’s no problem with the relationship.
Actually, when you hear something like this: chirp * fap fap * chirp * fap fap * chirp * fap fap. They say that you can calculate the temperature based on the frequency of the fap’s.
Gold, SolGrundy. Solid gold.
He told you? How’d that come up? One of my TAs told us that he was circumcised when he was 15 as a part of becoming a man. I can’t remember where he’s from, Kenya I think. He had to choose between a razor, a knife, and scissors.
I have really heavy periods, so heavy I used to have to wear a tampon and a regular sized pad. I read somewhere that orgasming helps with cramps and I decided to try it out. It only really works with the earth shaking orgasms and it helps a lot to do it in the tub where it is easier to clean it up. Ever since I started masturbating like a motherfuck during my period, they have gone a lot quicker and a lot smoother.
So when I started on my period yesterday, I tried to take as many baths/showers as I possibly could. I was taking my most recent one a half an hour ago and it was going VERY swell. I tend to get very into what I am doing and sometimes end with a swore wrist afterwards. This was one of those days with tons of little orgasms and that one big huge giant one always close by.
So I’m going and I’m shaking like an epileptic and having one of the best orgasms of my life. “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD - OH.”
I pulled a muscle I didn’t know I had and it still hurts.
So much for my wonderful orgasm.
I’ve always wanted to do two guys at once too.
Well, I’m not sure about you, but I don’t find having sex on my period very sexy either, so I’ve never thought about sticking to the bag. It’s pure unadulterated lust at that point, and sexiness just kinda flies out the window.
I love fisting. Oh yes, yes I do.
runs away and hides
Max. 
I had an infection in my belly-button, and couldn’t bring myself to clean it, or have anyone look at it, because I have a phobia about having my belly-button touched. It took a year before I worked up the courage to let a doctor examine the thing.
What gender are you? :rolleyes:
I would like to know where the sign-up sheets are for the Second guy, the guy with the Big penis, and the guy with the Big fist.
Just curious is all.
Hmmm…wonders how long it’ll be till the Favourite Sexual Perversion Thread opens
:rolleyes: