Son of Sarcastic Answers to Simple Questions

You guys are hilarious, been laughing my way all through this thread.

However, to the above, among the exceptions are…“if it isn’t a ship or plane or a penis …”

How come no-one has thought of this?
A bit presumptuous, aren’t we?

How is this possible?
I’m just that good.

What happens to pumpkins after Thanksgiving?
They start shopping for Christmas presents. Duh.

OK, just a few more.

World’s warmest, coziest slippers?

LL Bean just introduced a new model that I like. They’re lined with live kittens.

Women, do you like testicles?

Wow, with pickup lines like that I bet you never go home alone.

I won a mystery auction on eBay, should I be worried about terrorists?

No, you should be worried about your sanity.

What should out of towners see in Philly?

A travel agent who can recommend a city that’s actually worth visiting.

**Magnesium chloride – downside? **
Okay, place it on a level surface with the “THIS END UP” visible on top. The down side is on the bottom.

Can a dentist kill with novocaine?
Yeah, but they usually get tried for murder afterwards.

How do I find out if she’s a gold digger?
Does she
- have an assortment of shallow pans around the house?
- constantly complain about ‘them durn claim jumpers!’ ?
- own a sluice box?

How/where do butch women get their hair cut?
Usually some distance from the skin, often short. How? Usually some sort of sharpened metal device.

Can we agree on what “Homophobia” means? [4-page thread]
Apparently not.

How much did Princess Leia know?
Wanna find out, just threaten to kill a planet. She’ll spill her guts.

How did my cell phone manage this trick?

I guess the person who had it before you figured out what to feed a cell phone as a reward!!

Where did the names for the low US enlisted ranks come from?

Probably somewhere in Massachussets or Essex.

Would a flare gun shot in the mouth be fatal?

Darnit… just when you REALLY NEED Ashton Kutcher for an experiment, he’s nowhere to be found.

Learn Powerpoint?

Maybe… but first learn a little grammar.

How do we address wrongs of the past?

Mr. and Mrs. Wrong, may they rest in peace

or

Mr. and Mrs. Wrong, deceased

ok, ok…I know it’s bad, but it’s 9 am on a Saturday morning and I only got 4 hours of sleep and I’m bored/tired…

Well, let’s make a further exception for Michael Jackson. :eek:

Chess question: Why not get a new Queen?
You should have taken better care of the old one!

**Returning Christmas presents **
Send them to 1 North Pole Ave, North Pole. ATTN: Elf Return Desk

**How did my cell phone manage this trick? **
It had the card hidden up its sleeve.

Risks of sex tourism in Thailand
Um… STDs?

Do the phones in baseball parks receive calls?
Hello, Joe Torre? Is your refrigerator running?

Lung embolism - why fatal?
Breathing is necessary to sustain life.

Why can’t we hear ourselves snore?
The same reason we can’t watch ourselves snore.

How to defend against a mace, or a ball-and-chain?
Small arms fire.