You do need to know about the second thread itself for this one:
Happy Hanukkah!
How would you like to have one of these in your backyard?
A 10-foot alligator for the backyard! Thank you, that’s just what I wanted for Hanukkah! I think I’ll call 911 now, or maybe Animal Control…
**Disasters on TVs Little House on the Prairie cursed by Satan?
I’d swear it was Andy Garcia… **
Andy Garcia! Beware his malevolent powers!
Carol Stream banned?! You bastards…
The Jews of the world don’t like you either, Sevastopol
The Jews banned Carol Stream, and they’re coming after Sevastopol next!
**Salami Use By
Radio & TV Stations in Minnesota **
That’s a damned obscure topic for a Master’s thesis…
**What’s that white stuff in my coffee?
Tall, Conical Italian Trees **
Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’ve got these tall conical Italian trees in my coffee
**Do People Live In the Forests?
Is that how it’s spelled? ( 1 2) **
It’s been spelled that way for years! Get with the program awready!
**What’s the story behind poisonous food preparation?
Big Lots Price Tags **
[Dana Carvey’s Johnny Carson] I did not know that![/DC’s JC]
**Hot new stuff in the area of nail polish?
If you wear that, I’ll disown you. **
What to do with $30k in cash?
Buying food on a calorie per dollar basis
Let’s see, I think the RDA is 2,000 calories per day, so 30,000/2,000 = 15, so I guess you could feed yourself for 15 days.
**How do med students learn to do a digital-rectal exam?
Dog Bleeding From Vagina - Need Answer Fast
**
Bhutcheks - ur doin it rong
Alberta Dopers: Did you make it through the storm?
Disappearing towns
:eek: Maybe Alberta doesn’t exist any more.
ETA:
Letters to Santa
Michigan finally passed a smoking ban!
Huh, and here I thought Santa only dealt in small consumer goods.
**Phrases you’d think people would know
Happy Hanukkah! **
**Where [is nuclear waste currently stored?]
Evil twins trying to get out of a DUI. **
That’ll teach 'em to not be scofflaws!
**What does it cost to get your yard surveyed?
People String **
“Don’t have any? That’s OK, we brought a people squeezer along. You have any kids?”
View inside the eye of a hurricane?
Most isolated population center in the world
Yeah, I bet that really cuts down on travel.
Michigan finally passed a smoking ban!
Good on you, citizens of Houston
:dubious:
**Who Is This Soothsayer?
Susan Boyle **
I predict I’ll go on American Idol and become a star!
So we have a 20 year old bottle of Irish Creme
Good on you, citizens of Houston
That’s not much to go around, though.
** Smoke a rope
Do People Still Do Old Drugs?
**
Worst logos ever.
My GF likes “bad boys”–what’s up with that?it’
Yeah, that’s pretty bad alright.
Music making software - what to buy?
Susan Boyle
Yes, the Susan Boyle music making software. The interface design doesn’t meet modern western standards of beauty, so when you discover that it actually works well, you’ll be blown away.
What constitutes a Christmas song?
Songs that sound happy but are actually dark
Yup.
Does the concept of “No Child Left Behind” really make sense?
Should Children Walk To/From School
If the bus leaves them behind, I guess.
**What is Google counting down?
Bathrobes (Need Answer Fast!)
**
**22 MILLION, that’s right, MILLION, Bush-era emails found
And baby makes 21…Duggars have 19th baby
So we have a 20 year old bottle of Irish Creme
**
**Michigan finally passed a smoking ban!
I Lost My Smokey Cat Today **
OK, I don’t like smoking but that’s going too far!
**What could cause persistent yeast infections despite lifestyle changes?
I am an EVIL uncle **
That’s…pretty evil all right. Tacky, but evil.
**Uninsured people who oppose healthcare reform
Stop this **
Right now!