Speak to me in only Archer quotes

Mulatto Butts! Mulatto Butts!

The tactical turtleneck! The… tactleneck!


No Cyril, when they’re dead, they’re just hookers!

You could drown a toddler in my panties.

You freaked out when I called you a quadroon!

Your 3/5th of an opinion is noted

I’ve had good results with ether.

Idiots, doing idiot things because they’re idiots.

…do you not?

…and a little thing called a deep cycle marine battery.


Is that what you want? Because that is how you get ants!


“I thought you were saying ‘start slacking off’”
“Not SLACKING off!”

I feel like I dodged the world’s most dysfunctional bullet.


…WON’T then.

“Oh my god, it’s going to be…”
“Don’t say it!”

“If you change your mind, you know where to find us.”

“Yeah! In Dick-town!”


(stupid capslock dooflickey)

Oh, you are going to have to eat SO many spiderwebs.