Ohhhh look, an eviction notice! Brought by Mr. Landlord! Can you say “scumbucket”?
That’s the news, and I am outta here+
Well, Jane, it just goes to show you, it’s always something! If it’s not one thing, it’s another!
According to a new study, fifty-five percent of adults feel that women are most responsible for minor fender benders, while seventy-eight percent blame men for most fatal car crashes. Please note that the percentages in these pie graphs do not add up to a hundred percent, because the math was done by a woman.
For those of you hissing at that joke, it should be noted that that joke was written by a woman, so – now you don’t know what the hell to do, do you?
Nah, I’m just kidding; we don’t hire women.
Save the liver!
Wookin’ pa nub in all the wong paces…
Oh, we can’t eat any of this. We have diverticulitiiiis!
I hate when that happens!
Babies… before we’re done here… y’all be wearing gold-plated diapers.
Simmer down now!
I live in a van down by the river!
Don’t tell my parents I said dat!
I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they’re gone.
Hello, good evening, and what can I tell you…?
Ah, good, good… I guess this is the part of the trip where we all wait for you! How fun! Okay. Buh-bye.
Buckwheat is dead. How did it happen? Let’s take a look.
…so if we channel the $72 million through Ivan Boesky, we’ll have enough left over for Syria and South Ghana. Now, next point on the agenda is… [Reagan notices all the members of his staff asleep in their chairs] Ed? Donald? Hello-o! Well, just me again… great. Well, I’ve been doing it this way for six years, why should I change now? [checks his watch] 3am… [dials phone] The banks should be opening in Zurich right about now…
Beldar Conehead: Proceed, human, proceed!
Richard Dawson: Is that like “Go, man, go”? Alright… name a famous explorer.
Beldar Conehead: Vypron the Insistent.
Richard Dawson: The biggest holiday of the year.
Beldar Conehead: The Moons of Mypzor!
Richard Dawson: A place you keep your valuables.
Beldar Conehead: In a muldra iron field.
Richard Dawson: A mode of transportation.
Beldar Conehead: A phone shoe.
Richard Dawson: Something you eat with eggs.
Beldar Conehead: Fiberglass.
Let’s see your answer. Oh, I’m sorry, that must be your wager: a “Buck.” And your answer is: “Futter.” Buck Futter. I don’t get it.
¿Quien es mas macho, Lloyd Bridges o Fernando Lamas?