- How you get by without paying for anything?
- I’m cute.
Well, all day long at school I hear how great Marcia is at this or how wonderful Marcia did that! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
You’re standing on my neck.
I made a deal for you to keep your ungrateful head on your ungrateful neck a little while longer.
I didn’t want to get halfway into a trip to Yellowstone before Phil discovered what malevolent hellspawn we have for children… whom I love very much.
If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s a perfect kid. And SIX of 'em? Yecch!
Well we might as well go ahead and have kids, since I’m not afraid of changing diapers anymore.
I didn’t exactly hate changing diapers, but I was never any good at it. Especially with the boys. They always had dry bottoms but wet T-shirts, cos I forgot to point their little ooh-hoos south.
You know what? He wouldn’t help me pick up a stroller or a blanket or a bouncy chair.
Aren’t you afraid of what the kids in school might say about that blanket?
- Sure, but everybody else is wearin’ 'em, and when everybody else feels funny, you don’t feel so funny.
- Yeah. I guess it’s like when everybody goes swimmin’ in the YMCA pool without any suits on.
Go jump in the pool, Claire.
Come on! My Ph level is 7.4 and with 3 ppm of chlorine, I’m cleaner than your daddy’s plate after Thanksgiving dinner!
“We should just be thankful for being together. I think that’s what they mean by ‘Thanksgiving.’”
Phil’s-Osophy. A hard-bound collection of all the life’s lessons I’ve learned.
- Why did you pick such a thick book?
- 'Cause I got to the library last and all the thin ones were taken.
Maybe you didn’t understand. You see, this is a library. We only have books; we have no cookies.
You want a cookie?
Here are some cookies so you won’t get cranky on the trip.
Those were awful, those family driving vacations. Dad insisting on covering as many miles as possible in a day. The two of us tiny hostages in the back seat, clutching our car sickness bags, straining to see something out of the window as the landscape whizzed by. I was thirteen before I realized cows aren’t blurry.